It's not you, it's me..
Date Posted: 23rd Sep 2014 at 6:34 AM
Note: The following is kind of long. Sorry about that, but if you read it: thank you.
It's just something I've been wanting to "put out there" for a while now. This seemed a better place to do it than putting it right on my profile.
That's a saying you may have heard before and it usually has to do with someone breaking up with someone else. No, I'm not breaking up with anyone, lol. I just figured it was a good way to help explain a thing or two about me.
If you've commented on any of my downloads, you've probably noticed that I don't comment back very often. Like I've said, it's not you- it's me. I'm not a very talkative person in real life and that carries over to my internet life. That's not really a bad thing in itself (keeps me from opening my mouth and saying whatever comes to mind.. I tend to think a lot before posting anything) - but there are things in my life that keep me quieter than I usually am. The main thing is pain. I hurt. I've got osteoarthritis in most of my joints and rheumatoid arthritis in my hands. There are days moving is more than I can handle- I've honestly taken 10 minutes to climb the 14 steps (they're small and rather narrow, so I also watch out to make sure I don't fall back down them) to our bathroom because my knees, hips and ankles hurt so much. When I hurt like that I tend to just sit and read. I'll read something, like a nice comment, and smile. Then think I should respond. Then don't- because it takes more effort to move to do it than I'm willing to commit to. Besides the arthritis, I've got medical condition that causes pain when it's flared up. And, OH! Let's not forget my feet (restless leg syndrome that spread to my feet and arms like it can), although those are much better than they were. Even now, typing this, it hurts my shoulder to reach for the mouse and my wrists and fingers are achy as hell..
So, really, it's not you- it's me. Believe me when I say that I appreciate every single comment left and every single download. My silence doesn't mean that I don't. My silence doesn't mean that I'm rude, snobby.. or anything like that. My silence means nothing more than "Maybe if I sit still and don't move, I won't hurt as much". There have been days that reading a nice comment or post has brightened up my day. So please don't stop on account of my silence.
P.S. Before anyone mentions pain meds.. yeah, I know and have what I need. I fight with myself all the time about taking any kind of meds because I don't like how most of them make me feel. So when it comes to pain, I usually hold off until the pain makes me nauseous. Then I do give in. Of course, then I'm usually not much good for anything but at least I don't hurt as much. I'm big on heat and massage, which does help a lot. It's mainly the change in seasons that makes things so bad. Once the weather evens out.. like NOT 90 during the day and 30 at night, lol.. things usually ease up. Unless it's going to rain, then all bets are off.
Ah well. I've dealt with the arthritis since I was 7 and the other condition since I was 16. I've managed all these years and will manage for all the rest of my years. And I DO make myself get up and move around, pain or not. In fact, I credit my feet getting better with the walks I started making myself take every night- it was slow going at first, now I can walk down the street and look fairly normal.. instead of looking like someone who had a wee bit too much to drink.