Do you want me to turn you into a townie????

The lack of doors in first floor makes it time-consuming for sims to get in and out of house, and Julian for some reason keeps forgetting whatever he did while using stairs.

Sure, there are bad lots in every hood, and I agree that 75 Road to Nowhere in Strangetown is terrible (especially after I moved all four Singles in it. Bad idea.), but in Bluewater there is something weird about every single lot. They may not be unplayable, but they are illogical and random. I mean, there's a kitchen in Amelia's Closet.
If in other hoods I at least get what developers had in mind even if they fucked up, in Bluewater it just looks like someone put it all together without any idea behind it. Hood doesn't have any "feel" apart from "whatever, who cares".
--

"Ok, random apartment neighbor, you got stuck there, your problem."
"Did you just peed yourself?"
"Stop looking at me with that sad face and puppy eyes."
"Oh well, ok, I'll save you."
"Don't worry about complete stranger in your bathroom, he's just gonna take a shower while your wife gives birth to a baby right next to him and then I will make him unplayable again."

When my sim married a townie but soon divorced after he got cheating on her. " I'm sorry but I'm not attached to you and you guys don't have kids so....back to being a townie for you!"

"Oh... god..." I rebooted my game and was reminded of my Sim's horrible life choices in relationships.

"get back in your damn bed"

Bluewater Village was designed almost entirely to demonstrate how OFB businesses work. That may be why it feels "random" to you - it's sole purpose is to show players "Here's a couple of ownable furniture stores. Here's an ownable restaurant. Etc." There is no real unifying "theme" other than the demo business lots and some sample characters to own and run them. There's a kitchen in Amelia's Closet (and many of the other businesses in Bluewater Village) because if you buy that business for one of your sims, their employees will need a break room where they can prepare and eat meals. This is also why several of the business lots have dart boards, chess tables, or other fun objects in seemingly strange out-of-the-way spots. They're for the employees, not the customers.

I put the Singles into the "bunker house" too the first time I played Strangetown. You're right - it was a very bad idea.

"Oooh! Frozen giblets!"
At Malcolm Landgraab's winter wedding, referring both to the snow-covered turkey on the buffet table and the bikini-clad guests going in and out of the house between the food and the hot tub during a blizzard.

"You'd better do that again. I think there's one or two people at the back of the lot who didn't see it."
After one of my sims attracted a particularly large crowd of voyeurs while doing photobooth woohoo on a Downtown date.

Good point, but it's also noticeable how on many of the SPs and EPs, especially the later ones, there was significantly less and less thought or care put into pre-made lots. By the time Freetime and Teen Style Stuff came along, a good portion of the community lots and houses were just giant boxes which looked even crappier than what I tried to make on my very first sims play-through, and I am not naturally talented at house-building (gutting the interior and redecorating are more my speed).
At least with the wonky base-game lots you could chalk it up to the game being new and everyone still getting used to the tools (just look up what were considered "good" lots then as opposed to now), or that they were designing lots around an idea or concept, but didn't end up actually playing, so they would be slightly unaware of the problems.
By the time OFB came along, they no longer had that excuse, and should have, in fact, been even MORE aware of anything which could cause route failure or congestion, if the intent was for the lots to be features showcases.


*Trying to pull off a beach-side wedding (at weddings I have taken to going into Buy Mode just before starting the ceremony and manually moving the guests to the seating or standing area, so that way everyone will actually be in place for the ceremony, especially if I'm doing a lot of picture-taking)*
"Okay, go here, here, and ---" *Sees that there's been a wardrobe fail, with one of the woman's suits not showing up correctly, and becoming one of the infamous "flesh-suits."*
"I'll just go ahead and put you in the back here. We can still see your head, and that's the important part."

"IS SANTA EVER GONNA STOP FREAKING PEEING?!"

I agree with what you're saying about the building style of some of the pre-made lots, especially the binned ones that came with Freetime. If I wanted packing crates with pointy roofs, I could easily build some myself.

I feel ya. Getting wedding guests where they're supposed to be is like herding cats. I make them all selectable and then put them in their seats, but as soon as the wedding starts they either get up and move somewhere else or stay seated and don't watch the wedding. Having free will off and making them stand in front of their chairs seems to work best, but it's still kind of a crapshoot where they will actually end up. During a wedding I'm usually saying, "No! No! Not there! Go over there! No! Ugh."

I think sim weddings are much more fun than real life weddings. Standing around is boring! If you provide seats and a clear route to them, and do the ceremony right away, most of them will be facing more or less the right way at the right time. And otherwise you've got pillow fights, kicky bag, dancing on feet, red hands, fights between those two in-laws you forgot shouldn't be at the same party, family kissing, and fun everywhere!

Peni, I like to save that for the reception.

And no distractions along the way!

At Desmond and Cony's grand wedding in New Desconia, the invited guests had to pass a love tub to get from the street to the wedding arch. Only two of them made it to the ceremony. So the actual "joining" ceremony was witnessed by Joel Ferguson, by Gavin Forster, who had ben invited to play the piano, and by Jill King, who had been hired to run the bar, but who left her bar to sit down and watch the wedding. The rest of the guests were cavorting in the love tub.

Was one of them the outgoing mother-of-the-bride who'd got in naked? One of my Sims never looks at her wedding day snaps for that very reason!

"Samu! Are you really that stupid?!" - He complained that he couldn't get to his alien baby even though it was just one tile away from him.
"Poor Mathi. Now you're surrounded by lunatics all the time."

What's between him and the baby, though? Sims can't reach over fences. Routing fails are almost always the player's fault.

"What the fuck have I done."
"NONONO STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID STOP"
"So you're saying you just want to woohoo with anyone? It doesn't matter if it's NOT the spouse you have a full family with?"
"What IS this work outfit?!"
"You want to be friends with your victim? NOPE."
"I know you're a shy Sim and all, but you're at Creativity level 10. Why don't you want to perform on the karaoke machine? No one's even in the house! Plus, you're my Simself and I would totes use the karaoke machine right now!"
"This is NOT how <whoever the Sim is a simsona of> would behave."
"I should be studying, my exam's tomorrow."
"Did you literally just try to argue with that person who you're trying to be friends with?"
"I GIVE UP. *sits back dramatically*"

"How can you fear having another baby if you want 10 kids? Well, you're not getting 10 kids, that's for sure."
"Stop playing with the dog and wash it!"
"I thought I told you to..."
"No you can't go to the toilet, someone's sitting on it."
"Get out of the way!"
"What are you doing? No!"

"the player's fault" ? Like when someone lays the baby in front of the frig, so everyone starves? Or, my favorite, when someone has a baby in a confined space (like the 1 tile next to the bed), or a bathroom; three babies being passed around while a large household and all the hired help try to push their way in..

You're the one who didn't plan for it.

How it went?

"Leave the goddamn shower alone! The maid will clean it in the morning as he always does. Fine, you still keep queuing `Clean` then? Go to bed early! I'm not letting you clean the shower!"

(This isn't even a 10-point Neat sim either. Just 5, I think. Sheeeesh.)

[Edited because tablet has crap for single quotes.]

"Tarek, a field researcher of women's ... " (It was said, when Tarek Larry (from Sedona) second kiss a married woman without my demand)
"And boy, the boy again, but I like the name of the girl was looking for ...." (Edgar Mann was born)
"Wohooo? I hope you do not make a new adventure yourself? You have three of them)"
"It is very natural for you to Lana, lover wish for dinner and after ..."
"As Valentine entered the room, the three stars squealed in unison ... " (As Valentine Hart raised two daughters and granddaughter ...)
"And the ass looking for adventure ... Yes, Valentine, I'm talking about you."

"First of all, Morty, you can either "drink" your ex-wife or turn her into zombie. Second, you are not doing either, so drop it. Third, why are you so pissed, you cheated on her!"
"Ok, let's see, what Stella wants. Apologize to Morty? Damn, dude, now you are officially an asshole."

That's harsh, whoa.