Hello everyone! I'd like to ask you all for suggestions on how to handle something in my game, because I'm not sure what I want to do and I'm sure someone has a great idea I could borrow.

As some of you know, I'm not the type of player to follow wants and go where the game takes me. I have more fun playing to set stories that I have in mind, and incorporate game-events when I feel like they suit the story or I like where it's going. I know that's not for everyone but that's how I have the most fun.

A while back I added ACR, and while I've turned off try for baby and most couples use birth control to ensure they don't get pregnant until I want them to, there's one household where I felt I don't want to decide when they have a baby. So no birth control, and risky woohoo set to 5%. They woohoo fairly frequently, so I knew the risky would kick in at some point. For a while now I've suspected it may have (I play sounds off so I don't hear if chimes go off) because my Sim was dropping in hunger a little quicker than seemed normal, and for some reason they've been talking about babies at every meal time.

Yesterday she popped and proved me right. But I really don't feel it's time for them to have a baby. They are both pleasure, and have a ton of friends, throwing parties almost every night and going in outings to dance or play pool. I really enjoy playing them this way, and they only just moved in together. I still want them to get new roomies and have fun with that for a while, and a baby would rather get in the way of that.

I have some stormy relationships planned between them and their future kids, so I'm thinking what I want to do is let her have the baby but give it up straight away. There aren't any Sims in my hood that are looking to adopt at the moment, so just regular adoption doesn't feel like a good option. I'd like them to know the kid, but not be the primary caretakers. I was thinking I might have the grandparents take in the kid and raise it, or create a new Sim in CAS, but I'm not sure. I'd love to hear stories from your games, have you ever raised kids in a non-traditional way? How did you set it up? How did you explain it, story-wise? How do you handle adoptions?

Any and all stories/input/suggestions are welcome

You could always use the opportunity to create an orphanage/foster care service type household?

I already have an orphanage, but I don't see them as the kind of Sim that would give the kid up to be raised there. As nice as the manager is, it's not a replacement for having a family. Give the kid up yes, but to a different family, not "abandoned" at the orphanage

I imagine having the baby be raised by a relative would be the better option, then. Or maybe they have a family sim amongst their friends who might decide they want to take care of the baby?

I have to wonder if that's going to start an ugly custody battle later on...

All sorts of things are possible. Would the grandparents resent or not resent raising the child? How will that effect your story? Is there a friend who desperately wants a child and can't conceive? (I don't know if you have homosexual couples and hacks for them to have kids or not, or infertile sims, or non-sexual sims.) Perhaps the parents need to have a big fight, feel like they're on the verge of breaking up, so they decide to give the baby away? Perhaps you need to put the baby in the adoption queue temporarily, then summon the baby back to the household and add the baby back to the family when the time is right?

It sounds like you kind of wanted to add spontaneity to the family, and kind of did not, with your decision to let ACR run. Perhaps it's time to roll with the spontaneity, and let some other family have the storyline you'd planned for this one?


As far as what I'd do, if a sim wouldn't keep a child, then the child would have to go up for adoption. The child might be adopted by family, friends, total strangers, or languish in the orphanage, depending on if anyone were looking to adopt or not. If no one my sims know wants a baby, then they're either keeping the baby or giving it up. In this sort of situation, where it wouldn't be in character for the parents to give up the child, I'd make heavy use of BO's kidsandpetsunattended mod to let the parents keep on with their lives, and the child would be neglected, with the caveat that if they got caught by someone who would tell, the child would be taken from them. Kaylynn Langarak is my sim most likely to find herself totally broke, without money enough to take care of her kids, running on the ragged edge of loosing her children to social services if caught, but that's because of her issues, which are not at all the same as your sims. If you use the hack to ask a neighbor to watch kids, or they live in an apartment, you can always go the route of them foisting off the actual childcare onto someone else.

another option for you might be to add 1 resident or more to their home then have them raise the child/children. the new resident/residents probably preferably having child raising Wants.

me; I have not tried anything like that.
most adoptions in past times playing were game-generated characters.

You're quite right I think part of it is that I'd like to un-sync my generations a bit, in the sense that I don't want everyone to have kids at the same time. My hood rebuild focused around third generation, two families inter-linked because their kids ended up dating. There's the twins Elna and Moa, and their little brother Joel, who early on got in a relationship with Emma, and then Emma's brother Andreas. Emma's and Joel's son just turned toddler, Andreas girlfriend is due to give birth next time I play their household, and Moa is in the second trimester. It wasn't intentional, it just kind of ended up that way. But it'd be nice if someone was a little less off the clock, having kids later so that they are more spread out in ages later on.

The grandparents are currently not being played at all. I got a little bored with them during all the hood rebuilds, I feel I sort of finished with them in my original hood and wanted to move on to the kids, but was forced to play them over and over to replicate the hood properly. They are still around, but only as inactive Sims that get invited to family gatherings, and the occasional phone call. Giving them a grandkid to take care of could re-invent them a bit, give them a purpose and include them in rotations again.

I rather like your idea about giving it to a friend who can't conceive. It feels like something these Sims would do, and they do have an absurd amount of friends. Unfortunately most of them are townies and nobody is really doing the can't conceive thing, but I could always pretend they were and make them playables. Could also fit really well with things I have in mind for later. I will have to think about it, see if there are any good candidates. I shall take Azelanne's suggestion and see if there are any family aspiration Sims lurking among the 50+ best friends

I find this funny because I was going to suggest orphanage, then send the kid into the military when he's/she's old enough. Only time I think I ever did something like this (giving a kid away) was a super long time ago in Pleasantview. I had Brandi have a bunch of kids (which I always do) with a few different baby daddies (which I always do). She marries the guys, they just die prematurely. One of her husbands--I think her second (cuz Skip is the first), but maybe third--I really liked so I let him live; he ended up divorcing Brandi for some reason or the other and took the daughter they had with him. He was quite skilled and high up in the military career so he wanted to raise her. That's when I developed a hatred of nannies, too.

Anyways, I digress. Brandi had a few more kids with other people--I believe it was six because I was aiming for ten kids. Some of the middle kids went to college after Dustin, Beau, and Khris (the baby she's pregnant with at hood start) and then the last group of kids were still at home when I randomly decided to kill her off too. Fire was the weapon of choice. It was epic. The entire kitchen burned. The kids got taken away when they came home and I had all the older siblings take in a sibling or two. They all banded together and decided that while no one person could take everyone, they could take in one or two and the child would still be with family. Dustin was ticked his mother had the audacity to die and leave so many mouths to feed behind. He always struggled with accepting his mother's decision to have so many kids. She never worked and he had always provided for the family in between the husbands. I believe this was the same hood he was working for Nina Caliente, local business tycoon, and became a manager at a few of her business while he was still a teen. So though friends with his mom, he kinda resented her too, because all she ever thought about was babies and woohoo while he busted his butt to make sure that the family was stable, that he could go to college, and so that he could send his brothers to college. Beau, on the other hand, didn't view his mother so harshly being another family sim, but was a little freaked out about taking in two of his siblings because he and his girl (Lucy Burb most likely) had planned to start their own family fairly quickly after their recent graduation. They had just moved into their own house when the fire happened. So he was a little disappointed too, because with the house expenses and two extra kids, he'd have to wait a little to have a baby if he wanted to provide his siblings with a good life and great opportunities, like Dustin did for him. And he did; he wanted the best for his siblings. And finally Khris, graduated and back in the main hood, was living with his girlfriend, his brother (the fourth Broke kid whose name I don't recall, also graduated), and his brother's girlfriend was much more laid back about the whole situation and since neither he nor his brother were keen on having kids at the moment, they each adopted a kid. Everyone stepped up and kept their opinions to themselves. Family was family after all. And they didn't want their siblings thinking no one wanted them.

Unfortunately, this was all before I knew anything about teleporters and had the adoption take place through the social worker (I never did it before). Not only did the poor kiddos lose all their memories but their family tree too and then they didn't even recognize their own brothers as family. So sad.

Anywho, that's my story. I hope it inspires you and I'm sure that with time you'll think of a great story line to do. I don't recommend the social worker however, and strongly suggest using either a teleporter like inge's or the ogre mod here on mts (search for it; you'll see what I mean).

I think the Chris Hatch Hospital mod has the ability to give up a baby, but I've never tried it. I may someday in the future, though. As for this, I have never done it, but I would let a relative raise it if you have any, or really good friends.

Don't mean to drone on but as I was finishing up my last post I remembered I have another story to share! This example is from my legacy. It was generation two. I had a hotheaded spare, Zephyr, who became quite distant, angry, and brooding after dying in a legacy heirship challenge as a teen. He was brought back to life, went to college, and after much partying decided to get back together with his teen sweetheart Elizabeth Fuchs (BV townie). They tried to make it work but couldn't since he refused to open up to her or stop his partying, bubble-blowing ways. It didn't help that he couldn't hold down a job and was dealing with becoming an angry werewolf every night--another secret he was keeping from her. (You see, though he didn't know/believe it, becoming a wolf was the price he had to pay for being brought back to life and no matter how hard he wished, he was never turning back into a regular sim). Well, Elizabeth had had enough by the time she found out she was pregnant and since she didn't think Zeph was responsible enough to handle a baby and help support them financially, she left him. It was a difficult pregnancy so she was staying with Zeph's brother (and current legacy heir) Asher until the baby was born when a freak accident/plot device happened and Liz died right after an early delivery. Everyone was devastated naturally, and Zeph was the most upset. But he still couldn't shape up. After arguing with his brother and his brother's wife, he convinced them that he was in no way qualified to be a parent and with him being a werewolf and going out all night, he'd be a particularly bad one. So Asher agreed to take the boy in, temporarily. He was very adamant that Zeph try to pull himself together enough to try to raise the kid himself. Asher had had four kids of his own and knew from experience that the bond between father and son was a special one and that Zeph would regret it if his son grew up without his father in his life.

The baby grew up and became a toddler, but Zeph still insists that Asher needs to raise Seth. He doesn't want his son to know he's a werewolf and is afraid he might accidentally hurt the baby one day. So Asher brings Seth over everyday and pesters his twin to spend time with his own son.

And, since I'm an extremely lazy legacy player, that is exactly where I left off that part of the family over a year ago. I plan to have Seth grow up with the generation four kids (Asher's kids are in college), not understanding why he can't live with his father and resenting his father's choice. He eventually finds out his father is a wolf but doesn't share Zeph's view that his father is actually dangerous. He and his father will only continue to butt heads when Seth goes to college because Seth will fall in love with a witch! Witches and werewolves, I have decided, are mortal enemies in my game. (Ironically wolves and vampires can coexist quite peacefully.)

For this story I have pictures!


Hopefully with all this you can up with a good story now. Happy simming!

ETA: For this story I simply had Elizabeth move out and move into my legacy lot, but again you can use teleporters like the one at simlogical to temporarily move in the sim and let them have the baby on the correct lot. And the ogre mod I referenced is this one (http://modthesims.info/download.php?t=521770) which sounds like it is a little simliar to Chris Hatch's mod. It summons an ogre to the lot and you can either give sims away or sell them (it's main use is for old timey hoods). Then on the lot you want to adopt, you summon the ogre to either adopt or buy a child/baby, etc.

I have had two instances where the mothers popped babies and due to their personalities, did not mesh well with rearing children. The first mother left her daughter off at her parents and the girl was raised by them while the mother persued her acting career. She never lived with her mother but her mother visited often, and so did her dad though they were never married - just two beautiful narcissists too involved with their own lives to raise a kid.

The second instance was where the mother left her son to be raised by her sister along with her nephews. They treat each other like brothers though he is technically their cousin and considers his aunt more of his 'mom'. The real mother had an adventure career and was not suited to take her son along with her. The biological father was too poor to raise a kid by himself and was going from job to job while the aunt had a stable income and a husband with a career too.

You could start a boarding school, where the kids get sent off and live together and have their parents visit every weekend. Create a headmaster and create a sort of small campus for them to learn life skills, something like this that I made but possibly smaller.

Another non-nuclear family I have going is the produce farm, a family consisting of a gay and lesbian couple where the lesbians acted as surrogates for the gay couple via sim blender and now the children are collectively raised by 4 parents.

I have put kids with family members to raise and also at boarding schools. I once also created a 'nanny' Sim, a single female who didn't want her own children but was happy to raise others. It would make an interesting story if your child lived with grandparents for a bit and then the parents decided the wanted the child back and the grandparents are reluctant. I sometimes wish the child would show emotion about being parcelled out but they grow up fine regardless of where they are or how they're treated.

I would have a grandma or aunty raise the baby.

I might tell them "you made the baby - you take care of it' even though it might cause them to feel resentful..but, then I usually let my "story" go where it wants to. Let them take their chances with the social worker! Well, unless you've a mod that keeps her from showing up. In the end this is your game and your story so do what you really wish to.

Well townies can't conceive or bear children, so I reckon you have your answer there. Townies do have fertility issues. So it seems the best solution. By staying friends the real parents can still stay close to the child -- have "fun" time playing with them and reading to them without the chores of nappy-changing and toilet training. Even if you can't find a Family Sim, consider other aspirations. An awful lot of Real Life people, probably most people, seem to have the want to have at least one child. (I'm unusual myself in not being one!) For example a Fortune Sim may want someone to pass their wealth on to. Or a knowledge Sim their knowledge.

I was going to suggest grandparents, but I think Sunbee's suggestion of a childless friend is better. I rather think your Sims may be closer to their friends than to their parents.

I had a couple or two who were huge celebrities, and their children took second place to their fame. In those cases, I moved in a Sim who, though technically this couple's assistant, wound up acting as a parent because the real parents were rather distant with their children.

In another case, I had a non-celeb couple who had a child, but didn't to be involved with raising it. I moved in a friend of the family who was down on her luck, and again, she wound up acting like a parent.

I will tell them: "You make the baby, you take care of it." Sims make good parents, all of them, when they don't have a choice - and things happening that interfere with my planning are allowed

Unless I need a kid for the orphanage or the boot camp, I have a family member take care of kids that are given up. Usually the grandparents, but aunts/uncles sometimes do it as well. This way, the kids can be given back to the parents when and if they are ever ready. The only exception is alien hybrid children, which always get adopted by the Curious brothers. And, yeah, sometimes kids are kept and neglected via the no social worker mod.

I am early in my military hood - no grandparents or extra family members yet. They will have to take care of the baby themselves because there is no prospective adoptive parents yet either yet and I will not dump one baby at the social worker now. So, except if I make my general (carefully made in CAS) playable, and give the baby to him (oh, no, won't work, he is a romance sim) - the parents will have to look after their unplanned baby.

19 Chorus Court,
Veronaville

Dear Justpetro,

No ill feelings, but I can't let you get away with that. My mum's Romance, and she's the best mum in the world! :lovestruc Bar none!

Yours ever,
Andrew Jones

Romance sims make the best parents. In the game and real life.

They are pretty good in-game. Many of them who have babies and don't live with the other parent will come over autonomously and take care of the baby. The worst parent I ever had in-game was a Popularity sim. She never got a single want regarding her child and the child lived with her! Finally, I had her move out and leave the kid with dad. As for real life, well, my mom was romance and she was pretty awful to be honest.

I think letting the grandparents, or a townie friend (made playable) raise the child might be for the best.

Come to think of it, I don't think I have any families in my game where the grandparents look after the child. The closest is the Newson's, where Ginger is currently caring for Georgia's daughter, which in a way I see as her grand-daughter being that she raised Georgia. That was mainly because Georgia wanted to go to university though- although she's only going to university to party

I'd probably go for a grandparent over a friend, but then have that be a new stress and story point in an already distant relationship between the grandparents and the parents. The grandparents could want to be closer to their adult child or want them to take more care of the grandchild but are resentful because the adult children aren't interested in taking on responsibilities. Or the grandparents could see the parents as a bad influence on the grandchild and dislike the erratic visits and inappropriate and irregular gifts that the parents occasionally make to their child - the grandparents just want to raise the child well but without the parents, while the parents want a relationship but only a fun one and on their own schedule. There are story possibilities with having the child raised by friends, too, but I have an easier time thinking of stories involving extended family relationships.