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“And I think evolution is responsible for why everything is the way it is. Some people don’t believe in evolution. Some people don’t believe in it. That’s ok, I don’t think they’re stupid.But I think most people that argue against evolution sound really stupid.”



“Because most people that actually argue against it say shit like “Well I ain’t a monkey.” That’s. That’s not. No one said that you are. “Well my daddy ain’t a monkey.” Do you just want to keep going back until you find a monkey.Is that the point? This didn’t… did you read the thing? It sounds like you didn’t. It didn’t happen in 1972. It’s a whole…Why are you fighting this. Now human beings had a really interesting part of our evolution. We went through the ice age. "



“We had to survive an ice age. That’s really impressive. I’m not sure how we did it. Because we are a shitty mammal. We’re a poorly designed, pasty-looking, bummer of a species. People just walk around and we talk all the time. And you can trip a human being. That’s how shitty we are.We are the only thing in the world that you can just stick your foot out and ruin our fuckin day. Oww. I have a bad knee, you’re an asshole. We are just weak and shitty. We get tired. No other animal gets tired. You never see a wild boar “I need to sit down, I just did too much today.”

“….”

Ryn looked around her at the bar, it was the fourth Friday which means it was “Bear’s Night” at the local bar, when all the bears get together and have a social night. She had been hired to give a standup comedy routine, and she was sure that they would find some form of comedic substance in her Evolution Stand Up Comedy routine. Bears enjoy nothing more than human stupidity and her self-deprecating punch liners would be comedic gold… Or so she thought.



The issue with bears is that they had short attention spans and they never focused on anything more than 5 minutes long. She had barely even began warming up before the slobbering beasts had stopped paying attention. Ryn had a distinct distaste for bears. They were hostile creatures who only enjoyed fights and beer. And worst of all… they smelled disgusting.

“And… this is hopeless.” she said dropping the mic. “I’m getting a drink” she said with a scoured face.

Ryn had a bitter dislike for bears. But they had invited her to give a routine and they were paying her good money for it. And because she was a mother now, Ryn really needed the money.



Ryn waved the bartender down, “can I get a pabst-”

“RAWRR RAWR RA RA RAWRRRR” the bear boomed over Ryn’s voice.

“Hey, can I g-”

“RAWWWWWRR RAW RAW RAWR RAWR” another bear boomed throughout the small dive bar.

Ryn rolled her eyes. “Do you mind?” she winced at the bear beside her who sat stupidly with a puddle of drool on the counter before him.

Ryn could not take it anymore. A girl couldn’t even get a drink around these animals. She packed up her papers full of comedy scripts and a drawing her daughter had given her this morning. And headed home.



Nothing else mattered to Ryn anymore. Five years earlier she had welcomed a daughter in the world. And her daughter, Gigi, came first and foremost in Ryn’s life now. Before she was born, Ryn was a different person. But Gigi brought out the best in Ryn.



Ryn tucked Gigi into bed and clicked off the light. She knew that money wouldn’t be an issue if she would just let her wealthy parents provide for her. Or even her roommate and best friend, Serena. But, Ryn had to do this on her own. She was Gigi’s mother, and she was supposed to provide for her. But the wears and tears of single motherhood was taking a toll.



It was 2 AM, and Ryn had just been getting home, like every other day. She worked late hours for good pay. Sometimes she was guilty when she didn’t spend enough time with Gigi during the day, but she was working hard, to give her daughter the world. Ryn didn’t bother with a shower, although she swore she could smell the odor of bear all over her body. She slipped into bed and fell quickly into deep sleep.



The next morning was Gigi’s first day of school. And she was beaming with excitement.



When the school bus honked his horn, Gigi dropped her spoon into her cereal making a splutter and ran out the door.