When you're lost and lonely and you think you have nowhere else to go, there's still one place where you will always belong...
So here I am again, yet another summer at The T House. I guess I shouldn't complain, it's better than foster care, but here I was actually hoping I could have spent it with dad.
Oh well...
Wishful thinking.
"Where is she for f#ck's sakes? I've smoked an entire pack already."
Why should I bother to ask, especially when there's no one around to answer? Now not only am I low on nicotine, I'm sitting here talking to myself in a public place like some crazy, old homeless person. God forbid she actually show up on time for once.
I never was the type to get homesick, but I really miss my dad.
Why did he have to get locked up again?
I thought he was going to change.
He
promised he'd change, but like ma always used to say, '
the only way your dad could keep a promise is if it had a cherry red paint job, and a seven hundred horse power engine.'
Well, he broke his promise for one, took it for a joyride, and ended up in the slammer.
Oh well.
Dad never did have much self control. I should know, neither have I.
"Mommy, mommy look!"
"Hurry up dear, we don't have all day."
My mom never had much of a role in my life. To put it simply, compared to dad, she's the tiny speck of an island on a globe that is my life. My dad on the other hand, he'd be more like Malaysia. Broken up and scattered, but still trying hard to keep it together.
I still believe in him.
Mom never did.
Then again, you have to sympathize for my mother. The only person she ever trusted was her coke dealer.
She's locked up too...
...but I rarely visit her.
8:58 pm
Yawn. "I knew I should have brought a tent."
"Well look who it is."
"You sound tired, how long have you been here?"
"Too long, but it's old news, so can we just go already? I'm starving."
"Don't you want to make a wish?"
"What do I look like, an eight year old?"
Sigh. "Fine, I'll make a stupid wish."
"God knows you'd probably hold me hostage here, until I do."
"You take your time then, I'll be in the car."
She hasn't changed a bit, which is no surprise to me. Dad always swore she was a witch who was secretly living a double life as a tea house owner. Which makes me wonder why of all places I ended up here.
Maybe foster care would have been better for me.
This place never helped dad any, how in God's name would it help me?
I'm no better than he is.
Right?
"Here I am tossing the only money I have on me into some stupid shrine. She owes me a pack of cigarettes."
To be continue...