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Scholar
Original Poster
#1 Old 1st Jun 2010 at 6:15 PM Last edited by jaylo2112 : 3rd Jun 2010 at 1:39 AM.
Default Ask... That MTS member below you!
Oh! Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? Greetings and welcome to the game of 'ask that MTS member below you'.

We have all (I Think) watched at least one episode of ask that guy with the glasses(If not click on any of these videos ), and know how hilarious his answers to questions are. The goal of this game is to try to answer the question above you in the most ATGWTG way possible.

For example:

Quote:
Originally posted by person 1
How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?


Quote:
Originally posted by person 2
That's a very good question. You see, contrary to popular belief, woodchucks don't really chuck wood. They chuck people, off of cliffs. Yes I know what you are thinking. Why would woodchucks chuck people off cliffs? Because they can. So, the answer is none, unless of of course there is a person named Wood, in which case, all of him. Or her.
Yeah.


Get the idea? Okay? Great! Have fun!
as for my question:

Why is the sky blue?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
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#2 Old 1st Jun 2010 at 11:28 PM
That is a very good question, you see, the sky's mother died when he was just a little aurora, after finding out she was raped by god, thus getting pregnant with him, he decided he would comfort the earth by being our blanket of protection. We've never given it an anti depressant, so that's why he's blue. Yes...

Umm... Surprise?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#3 Old 1st Jun 2010 at 11:44 PM
AGH!!! Get away! Get away! *shoots with fake gun* Leave me foul demon!
With onions.
Yeah.

Why do kids have to go to school?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#4 Old 2nd Jun 2010 at 5:42 PM
That is a very good question,
Because your mother doesn't love you.
Yes...



Are blonds really stupid?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#5 Old 2nd Jun 2010 at 8:11 PM
Well, what a stupid question that is! I mean really, are you blond? I swear only a blond would ask such a stupid question. I mean come on! Everyone knows that blonds are not stupid. God! I mean, just look at Heidi Montaug for an example. Sheesh, some blonds...

I have a portal that runs through space and time, and yesterday I brought back a T-Rex. What do they like to eat?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#6 Old 2nd Jun 2010 at 9:54 PM
That is a very god question,
Were you sure to by some feeder-sauruses? If not, you'll have to substitute for babies. T Rex's love babies............................................................................................................................................................................................................... just like me.
Yes...

Why do girls just wanna have fun?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#7 Old 2nd Jun 2010 at 10:37 PM
That is a very good question.
You see, when two people like each other very much, they will send a letter to the big crane in the sky to bring down a little bundle of joy that they can take care of. While the crane, who happens to be male, brings down little baby girls, he decides to, guess what? No, not that, he feeds them candy. Then, the little sugar high babies go home, all high on sugar, and although the sugar fades off eventually, the girl will always try to find that little moment of fun experienced while sugar high in the clouds. And eat pork.
Yeah

There is a black hole in the middle of my living room. What do I do?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#8 Old 3rd Jun 2010 at 12:39 AM
Create another black hole to swallow it. Red matter may be expensive, but is good for situations like this. You never know when you need to destroy something and never get it back. Like your skin.
yeah...



I found my spouse with a homosexual lover and there is poop all over the couch, what cleaners are good for cleaning up poop? (if it's too dirty.. What do you call an SD card with a virus?)

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#9 Old 3rd Jun 2010 at 1:38 AM Last edited by jaylo2112 : 3rd Jun 2010 at 2:04 AM.
Hey hey hey! One question only! Gosh, people these days.
Well, in response to your first question, I would highly recommend you ask your neighbor that you hate, your neighbors 10 year old child, or just some random bum on the street. Why just last night I was with a homosexual lover, and after we were done there was the largest mess to clean up. I simply went to the nearest park and gave a holler to whomever was listening. The bonus is that with ten year olds or homeless people you needn't pay more than $20. So just shout out that you will pay someone $20 to clean your couch, and take whoever says yes. If they say "double or nothing" give me a call with their age, appearance, and city. I will find them, and I will eat them. With Pork. And Onions.
Yeah...

I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee. Won't my mommy be so proud of me?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#10 Old 3rd Jun 2010 at 5:46 PM
only if you give her free honey. Now she may ask how you got this baby. My assumption is that you had a bee orgy. But you can't tell a mother that, so I suggest you tell her that you found it in an abandoned hive on your porch. Yes...


Uhh... Milkshakes?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#11 Old 3rd Jun 2010 at 9:22 PM
Why yes I love milkshakes! Can I have a chocolate milkshake with sprinkles, whipped cream, and baby eyeballs on top? I love my baby eyeballs, you see. Why, one time I went to an ice cream place, asked for eyeballs, and the person said they didn't serve eyeballs. You know what I did? I gouged out their eyeballs and put it in my milkshake. They were so surprised. Serves them right for not giving me my eyeballs! By the way, did you know that I'm wanted in 32 states for eyeball related incidents? *stares at camera*
Don't forget my eyeballs.

Someone once told me that the grass is greener on the other side, but over there the grass is soaked in blood?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#12 Old 19th Jul 2010 at 10:04 PM
Green is the new Red! Don't you watch FOX News?... With onions!


if god hates fags, is he like Smeagol/Gollum with transsexuals?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#13 Old 26th Sep 2010 at 2:27 AM
No, no, no, you see...
*large voice booming from heavens* We hates then, we hates them. No we loves them, we loves them.*voice fades off*
Oh, well, umm. Yeah pretty much.

Why do we have to go to school?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#14 Old 28th Sep 2010 at 8:30 PM
That is a very good question, you see, your parents hate you and your stupidity, so they send you to school so, if all else fails, you're out of their hair.
Yeah...


Am I green?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#15 Old 28th Sep 2010 at 11:50 PM
That depends. Are you in love with a red-haired green princess, have best friend who's a donkey, and another friend who is a cat in boots? Do you also associate yourself with many fairytale characters like the gingerbread man? And Onions?
If not, then yes. Yes you are.


What would Madonna do?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#16 Old 30th Sep 2010 at 5:49 PM
Anything with a **** on it!
Or onions!

How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#17 Old 30th Sep 2010 at 8:32 PM
How can a clam cram blam slam can... ARG MY BRAIN HURTS!!! YOU DID THIS!!!! YOU DID THIS.
AAARG!!!!! *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang*
... ... ... ...
I apologize for my, little, explosion earlier. Lets see, a clam can... um.. what was it again?
...
Why don't you just go tell the clam to shut up and cram it!

What the HELL is a Hufflepuff?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#18 Old 1st Oct 2010 at 3:26 AM
A machine! It 'puffs' huffles! You don't want to know why puffs is in quotes. What 's a huffle you may ask? I have no friggin' clue. But I can say this, I hope its not a hummel figurine! ( creepy music)
Yeah...


Why is Keanu sad?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#19 Old 1st Oct 2010 at 8:37 PM
Because he starred in that god awful little buddha movie. That's why. Oh, that and he died in the Matrix movies. With onions. and Cabbages.

Team Edward, or Team Jacob?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#20 Old 5th Oct 2010 at 4:50 PM
Team Edwacob, you see, Edward sucked a bit of Jacob's blood, and they mutated together into Edwacob, With onions.


Can I haz a cheeseburger?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#21 Old 5th Oct 2010 at 9:19 PM
no you cannot! This is my cheeseburger, and I... *smiles evilly* why suuure you can have a cheese burger, just one sec. *makes big show of adding something to burger with back facing camera* here you go. now I'll just go drop it off at your house, and watch you die-I mean eat this delicious, poisinous-I mean nutritious cheese burger.

With poison-I mean onions. Yes. *walks off screen*

why do dogs bark at the moon?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Forum Resident
#22 Old 14th Oct 2010 at 3:41 PM
Because Elvis is on the moon, and as we know, he's nothin' but a hound dog. Dogs go nuts trying to get to the moon to sniff his pooch but, but all they can do is sit around and howl. Now I know what you're thinking, "Elvis is alive?". Yes, in fact, the way he got to the moon was on - you guessed it - MJ's Moonwalker. Now they spend eternity pretending to be children for each other. And eating Moon Cheese.
-- With onions.


Hello, I have a man named Rick Astly following me, I don't think he'll ever give me up, What should I do?

Where does the pain come?
Where does it start?
I know not...
For I have no heart...
Scholar
Original Poster
#23 Old 14th Oct 2010 at 9:45 PM
Why, that's easy. Kill him. Just take a gun of your preference, stick it to his forehead, head, neck, whatever, and pull the trigger. You will find that most stalkings are resolved in this way, and afterwards you will get to spend a long amount of time in a very luxurious hotel with bars for doors and three square meals a day. You even get these really cool orange jumpsuits that go well with my eyes. And, if you're especially lucky, they will give you your own luxury suite where you don't have to share with anyone. I believe they are called 'solitary confinement' I've been there many times, all after dealing with many stalkings. One of which was this lady who kept on telling me she was my wife. Yeah right, so I shot her.
yeah.

How come Frodo is such a sissy?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
Test Subject
#24 Old 12th Jan 2011 at 5:25 AM
Isn't it obvious? he was cursed. anyone with hair and eyes like that is doomed to be a sissy and though, it may be true that he could have hidden it quite easily, Using a hat and sunglasses would have been best, he instead chose to use a ring that only caused his curse to deepen, ultimately causing such a sissy question. yes... :D

If you're blue, and you don't know, where to go to, why don't you go where Fashion sits?
Scholar
Original Poster
#25 Old 12th Jan 2011 at 8:50 PM
Because, YOU ARE BLUE. No one wants to see your wierd blueness. Why are you blue in the first place? Did your mother screw the cookie monster? If not did she ingest a large bottle of food dye thinking it was blueberry juice? What a moron! And as for you, I think you should go nowhere except to HELL! With all the other blue people like you who are too outlandish and strange to show their pathetic blue faces. Like Blue from blues clues, Watto from starwars, the genie from aladdin, and all the stupid smerfs from smerf-ville.
You should be ASHAMED of yourself. GOD!

I have a nargle infestation under my bed. How do I fix this?

Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Outran Dementors, Outwitted Ministry, Killed by Drapery
Where I've been hiding...
 
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