Replies: 9 (Who?), Viewed: 13783 times.
Lab Assistant
Original Poster
#1 Old 6th Oct 2010 at 5:41 PM
Default Through a Doll's eyes
Hey there this is my first story and its going to get much better! But for now please enjoy Part 1!

Chapter 1 Part 1

Dead Gorgeous

After a good 40 minute beauty nap I decide it was time to get ready for Alicia’s party. I brushed my wavy locks till they went static against the force. Pondering on how to have my hair I reached for my magazines. Miss Universe – nope. Young American – no. Birds in America – definitely not! At the bottom of the pile was good old Beauty Weekly, I flicked through endless pages of hair styles until I found the perfect one! It was so perfect even the model looked like me – well sort of anyway. After a bit of fiddling and messing about I got my perfect hair almost perfect.

Make up came next on the agenda and I knew exactly what to do! I was actually enjoying myself and began to hum merrily as I plastered layer upon layer of make up.
A quick glance in the mirror told me that I was looking ok; I thought I did a pretty good job actually! Then I ran down stairs to find both parents waiting for me, waiting to give me the talk.
My Dad was the first to speak “Darling we know this is a special night for you but we want you –“I didn’t let him finish.
I kissed Mum and Dad good-night, told them I would be home before midnight and that I wouldn’t talk to strangers. After a few reproachful glances Mum said.
“Good luck sweetheart and don’t forget to ring me if you have any problems!”
“Okay, Mum!” I shouted back at her. I was already half way down the dark garden path by now.

It was 9:30pm and I was heading off to the biggest party of my life, it was very dark and the street lamps were glowing yellow as I walked down the road. Every now and then a car would roar past and I would be blinded by a golden light but that was very often, I mean cars weren’t coming by that much, just occasionally. I heard a low beep and realised my phone was telling me it was 9:50. Ah. The party started five minutes ago.
I started into a slow jog being careful not to trip over as my heels were at least 10cm high! Ouch, blisters. I pushed my straggly fringe out of my face and felt sweat dripping down my forehead. Great, just what I wanted. And then it happened.
I looked left then right and decided it was safe to cross. I began to walk briskly across the road, my heels aching from the strain. Suddenly from in the distance I could hear a car engine getting louder and fiercer; I started running, sprinting even, crying, and almost knowing the outcome. Then everything went black.

Thanks for reading any comments are always welcome Hope you enjoyed it. Part 2 on its way!

xX Furuba all the way Xx
xX Miss World EVEN FURTHER!! Xx
Check out the contest site at
Field Researcher
#2 Old 6th Oct 2010 at 7:50 PM

The suspense.... Why do you make me hang here?

What the Golden Army really was: Ginormous alarm clocks who wanted to kill you!
Field Researcher
#3 Old 8th Oct 2010 at 5:55 PM
Oooh! I can't wait to read more!
Lab Assistant
Original Poster
#4 Old 9th Oct 2010 at 2:06 PM
Thanks guys for commenting! Part 2 is on its way

xX Furuba all the way Xx
xX Miss World EVEN FURTHER!! Xx
Check out the contest site at
Top Secret Researcher
#5 Old 17th Oct 2010 at 9:48 PM
Interesting... but if I were her, I would've driven a car or carpooled. LOL!

Mad Poster
#6 Old 20th Oct 2010 at 10:41 PM
Interesting start! Looking forward to what's coming next
Lab Assistant
Original Poster
#7 Old 21st Oct 2010 at 9:23 AM
Lol guys Part 2 is Taking ZONKS to write. But then again its half term so I'm hoping to get in loads of parts to the story depends (I'm really slow at writing!) LOL!

Lavaster - I would have driven too, but never mind the story wouldn't work if she had

xX Furuba all the way Xx
xX Miss World EVEN FURTHER!! Xx
Check out the contest site at
Test Subject
#8 Old 21st Nov 2010 at 3:25 PM
ooh! I'm excited for part 2!
you've definitely got a few fans already!

Friends are like potatoes...
...if you eat them, they die.
Forum Resident
#9 Old 29th Nov 2010 at 1:46 AM
Oh lil'B your so talented xx *love*

Official Foundation Challange Contestant. R1-R2-R3-R4

BLOGGER A Random Legacy - Vasher
Lab Assistant
#10 Old 17th Sep 2011 at 2:41 AM
I'm going to remake this.
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