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Mad Poster
Original Poster
#1 Old 31st Oct 2015 at 11:59 PM
Default My apology
For those wondering about my ...off behavior, let me clear the air.

1.) I did not notice I added what is deemed sensitive information. My sleep schedule has been severely screwed up and I screwed up.

2.) I highly doubt that predators are stalking MTS, because if anything, spammers are the main offenders. If you want to find a predator, check freemium apps for dating sites like OkCupid. The likelihood is one hundred fold more likely.

3.) I hate when people assume my intelligence and common sense are that of a brain-damaged child, which was the taunt I faced for about half my school career. Hence my offensive to what seemed like an offense.

4.) I understand the rules of the internet and consequences of failure to adhere. In fact, in September 2015, I was a victim of an unauthorized purchase that screwed up my attempt to build a credit score. It was a nightmarish headache to reverse and use a temporary loaner card.

I hope you can understand.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
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Inventor
#2 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 12:11 AM Last edited by SuperSimoholic : 1st Nov 2015 at 12:21 AM.
This seems more like "a list of reasons why I don't actually need to apologise dressed up as an apology"

But honestly, I don't think you need to apologise, just learn to distinguish criticism for genuine concern.

ETA:Woah, Panda, what the hell?

I just erased the stuff my my post in the Doll thread, and as soon as I do it's been deleted because "Forget it, I have better things to talk about if I am swarmed for 1 mistke"
what you couldn't wait a few moments?? Besides the diary related stuff, (which, again, I'd JUST deleted what I'd said on the matter and I'm sure others would have once they were online again) the thread was taking off, people were getting into it and some were even asking you questions.

I think that was pretty immature, and if I didn't think you had anything to apologise about before I do now.
#3 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 12:20 AM
I think PQ has got the message, and whether or not she chooses to act on the great advice given is now surely up to her. Further baiting of her on the subject, I feel, will not improve a situation which is starting to look unpleasant.
Top Secret Researcher
#4 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 12:23 AM
Why did you delete the doll thread? It was actually really interesting (the on topic posts about dolls). I'd love to see some pictures of your projects sometime. sorry it's OT.

Life is like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs. But it's your choice to scream or enjoy the ride
Cottage feedback- would be greatly appreciated
Simple Holiday House - great for parties and relaxation
Instructor
#5 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 12:27 AM
I actually wanted to ask the same think as coolsim. I was really interested in that thread and when I wanted to add a post it told me that it is already deleted

Visit my Tumblr for more creations http://crowkeeperthesimmer.tumblr.com :)
Inventor
#6 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 12:28 AM
don't worry guys, i'm making the doll thread again as we speak and i'm going to quote some of the things from the original thread (i still had it open in another tab)
Mad Poster
#7 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 1:02 AM
I was offline for a bit so I have no idea how that thread ended up. I hope you didn't get offended by my post though. But also, yes predators can be on Modthesims, and considering you make a lot of threads and you're very well known on this site, you could easily be a victim. But I expect if going even further into this conversation the thread will get deleted, so I'll just say that and to just be careful.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Scholar
#8 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 2:38 AM Last edited by tsyokawe : 1st Nov 2015 at 5:01 AM. Reason: I meant to write YEARBOOK profile
Quote:
Originally Posted by PANDAQUEEN
4.) I understand the rules of the internet and consequences of failure to adhere. In fact, in September 2015, I was a victim of an unauthorized purchase that screwed up my attempt to build a credit score. It was a nightmarish headache to reverse and use a temporary loaner card.



I'm not surprised that someone was able to make a purchase using your identity.
Right here at MTS you have posted your real name, your parents' names, your home town, and your dad's current and past occupations.
Indirectly, you have also given any reader your exact date of birth...

Test it for yourself. Look at your MTS profile yearbook profile, and google the name and hometown you have posted there.
See how many times you pop up - see how many other sites you have deliberately** posted information that
will lead someone to your family's phone numbers and home address.

All that information you've posted out there. And to think you've left it out there even after
you've learned that someone used it?

If you don't care about your own security - please consider your parents'.

**I use the word, 'deliberately' because you made a very strong point in an earlier thread that you have chosen to share this information about yourself.
That we are treating you like a child, etc...So do the adult thing; consider your parents' needs.

21october2015 2001hrs MDT: I opened this post to edit out 'profile' and write 'yearbook profile' sorry for the confusion
Former Hamster
retired moderator
#9 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 3:08 AM
(Referring to Thranduil Oropherion's post - please don't consider my post to be baiting in any way. Enough probably has been said already but, yeah, I'm gonna say what I want to say anyway because I still want to say it after sitting on it for a few hours. If I didn't care (as far as you can care about someone/something you don't really know) I'd just walk away...)

Point #1 - Please don't blame a screwed up sleep schedule for any posts you've made. I have a severely screwed up sleep schedule and have for most of my life, even as a baby. (Ask my mom, lol.) A normal sleeping pattern is a foreign concept to me, some nights I only sleep 2 hours, some I don't sleep at all. But I have never, ever blamed anything I've posted on that. Common sense tells me "Hey, don't post that". Common sense AND self preservation that is. Which leads me to...

Point #3 - I would never question your intelligence. You have an intriguing mind and I suspect that you're actually quite intelligent - near genius IQ-wise. I do question your common sense though. RE Point #2 - Predators are EVERYWHERE on the internet. They might not be obvious, but they are "there". Posting personal information is your choice, I wouldn't advise it but it IS your choice. Just be aware that it's a really bad idea and can lead to unwanted attention or worse - as you found out already with the unauthorized purchase, which is not good but it could've been something worse than that. (If you were to Google my real name, not much would come up because I don't put it out there - most of what does come up is stuff that's pretty much public record, where I've lived mainly. That's fine with me and I try to make sure it stays that way.)

You most likely feel bad at the moment but don't let that stop you from posting here. I'll be honest and admit that I used to be a bit "What the hell?!?" reading some of your posts but I've gotten over that and you've grown on me - and I mean that in the sweetest way possible. Just be more careful in the future.
Mad Poster
#10 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 3:53 AM Last edited by simmer22 : 1st Nov 2015 at 4:20 AM.
Sensitive information is basically anything you wouldn't yell out to a random, suspicious-looking stranger on the bus, with a voice loud enough for the whole bus to hear you. It's also things you wouldn't feel comfortable telling other people than close relatives, good friends, or your doctor (or to other kinds of professions where that particular information belongs). Non-sensitive information are things you wouldn't mind telling a stranger. I find that a good rule of thumb, anyway.

The line on the web tend to be a bit diffuse, because people think it's safe to hide behind relative anonymity, or their level of dumb just happen to skyrocket the moment they turn on their computer, even when they're sane, intelligent people to start with. People's personal boundaries tend go down when the're on social media, and it makes them do and say all kinds of weird stuff. I'm pretty sure nobody would agree to every single day stand up on something high in the middle of the busy street and yell out what they had for breakfast, or announce their house will be available for robbery while they're away on holiday, or act like misbehaved kids with a newly discovered vocabulary of bad words. Yet, they do it on social media without thinking twice. Most of these people are seemingly normal, well-behaved people outside the screen.

While on the web I don't assume anyone is actually stupid or unintelligent, even if some go to great lengths to prove they are. And even then I tend to assume they've been bitten by the social media bug that throws caution and manners out the window, because that's usually what's happened in most cases.

If you take offense from a genuine concern from somebody, then that's your problem. From what I've seen of your posts (and I've only seen a tiny amount, because you've been posting a lot recently) your personal forum-posting boundaries look like they are a lot wider than what I'd felt comfortable posting if I were in your situation. But hey - if you really feel comfortable sharing all that stuff, however personal, then feel free to do so. It's your choice. However, if you've already had one attack of some sort, being more careful would be a smart choice.

I've never said you should stop posting, but rather that it would be a good idea to think twice before you post something that might have info on who you are and where you live, or similar (that goes for everyone, not just you, Pandaqueen). MTS is an open forum, and people can see stuff even if they're not logged in. So while there probably aren't a lot of potential stalkers visiting, you never know.
Mad Poster
#11 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 7:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PANDAQUEEN
I highly doubt that predators are stalking MTS, because if anything, spammers are the main offenders. If you want to find a predator, check freemium apps for dating sites like OkCupid. The likelihood is one hundred fold more likely.
Yes, doubt. One doesn't know for certain, otherwise one wouldn't be doubting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PANDAQUEEN
I hate when people assume my intelligence and common sense are that of a brain-damaged child, which was the taunt I faced for about half my school career. Hence my offensive to what seemed like an offense.
This one believes you're blowing things out of proportion PQ. No one was insulting you. All the people whom were posting want(ed) to do is help by offering advice.

My Soundcloud, where I upload some things I make.
Top Secret Researcher
#12 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 8:53 AM
Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

@PANDAQUEEN: I get where you're coming from. I also hate having things explained to me like that, and for much the same reason - it's not uncommon for Aspies.

I used to apologize in the exact same way. I learned that it doesn't work very well. When you present the reasons for your behavior to people, they don't get that you're trying to explain why it happened. They think it means that you're trying to defend your behavior from criticism by giving the extenuating circumstances. They're even more likely to think that if you're apologizing for being defensive - they think it's a continuation of your defensive behavior. I know that's not your intent, but that's how it comes off to NT people. That's why they're reacting that way to your apology. They're not trying to further criticize you, they just don't understand how apologies work for us.

We really do think that you're an intelligent adult. Communicating with someone directly about a concern is something that people do with people they consider an equal - otherwise, they'd be talking to authorities like the mods. I really hope that you don't end up leaving the site, because we like having you here.


Everyone else: Panda was actually trying to apologize, not excuse her behavior. It's common to make an apology in that way: identifying the factors that caused the unwanted behavior. She's saying sorry by acknowledging that she shouldn't have acted that way and helping everyone understand why she did so that people can see that she wasn't trying to upset anyone.

You guys tapped into her berserk button. When you've repeatedly been told that you're stupid, you're naturally going to have a bad reaction to someone telling you that you're stupid. Repeating information like that can come across that way - when you continually mention the problem, you're telling her that she's not intelligent enough to understand it. Yes, I know that is not your intent, but that is how it's coming across. Words mean things, even when you don't intend them to.

So maybe it's a good idea to back off. She's going to be too upset to listen to you if you keep repeating the same stuff over and over. Yes, I know she's not getting the message. Repeating it is going to lessen your chances that she will actually act on it. She's got the information, and she can figure out what to do with it. If she doesn't, it's going to suck to see her hurt, but she can deal with it.

My MTS writing group, The Story Board
Mad Poster
#13 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 9:04 AM
Out of curiosity @hugbug993, when you say "NT" is one referring to the term "Neurologically Typical" or the acronym within the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator?

My Soundcloud, where I upload some things I make.
Top Secret Researcher
#14 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 9:08 AM
I mean neurotypical. PQ and I share a diagnosis.

My MTS writing group, The Story Board
Mad Poster
#15 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 9:11 AM
Thanks for clarifying. This one frequent sites that use the NT acronym for both, so he fails to understand which is being referenced sometimes.

My Soundcloud, where I upload some things I make.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#16 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 11:37 AM
@hugbug993

Thank you for the advocacy. I always hated the Internet's messed up logic on apologies

You guys did touch upon something that irritated me, but I forgive you.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Top Secret Researcher
#17 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 12:16 PM
Ok, I don't really want to get involved or pick sides (no offence) but I think we should stop disagreeing with panda's posts, she has apologised, just disagreeing with her more is just going to worsen the situation and I think we should just it let go, it's been spoken about and there's nothing more to say.

I'd admit myself that I also sometimes get irritated when people get concerned about my safety, I know it's because they care about me but I still get irritated by it because I don't want them to be concerned and I have no control over that, and it make me feel like they are holding me back even though I know and understand what I'm doing.

Life is like a rollercoaster. It has its ups and downs. But it's your choice to scream or enjoy the ride
Cottage feedback- would be greatly appreciated
Simple Holiday House - great for parties and relaxation
Mad Poster
#18 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 12:50 PM
The best way to be in control, is to actually accept that one isn't, and to accept that which one can't change.

My Soundcloud, where I upload some things I make.
Scholar
#19 Old 1st Nov 2015 at 4:15 PM Last edited by tsyokawe : 1st Nov 2015 at 4:37 PM. Reason: too inflammatory....
I don't think Panda owes us an apology. And while I do have a general concern for Panda's safety, I figure she can worry about herself.

I'm more concerned with Panda's PARENT's safety. Because I doubt seriously that they're even aware
that Panda has deliberately opened them up to both physical and financial dangers.

If Panda wants to make it that easy for people to walk up to her door, then she should move out into her own place,
so that she doesn't put other persons at risk. Otherwise, she should take responsibility:

1. She should inform the other members of her household of what she's done (so they can take measures to further protect themselves - to include changing their phone numbers)
2. She should remove the information from her many different internet profiles.
3. She should apologize to her parents. (It is to them she owes that apology.)

As adults we are obligated to behave in ways that do not put others at risk for injury or heartache. Panda?

0837hrs: Edited to remove the fed-upedness of my feelings on this topic.
 
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