Miranda shot up. "Now now good lord, but you said you were in Borovia? That country hasn't a cherry tree anywhere on it's surface!"

((OOC: lol You almost got me there!))

Now now Duchess, perhaps as you would recall, I said I was on a hunting trip with the second Prince of Borovia. You assumed I was in his kingdom when quite contrarily we were not. You see we had met up in Warvesolddar. This happens to be the very trip in which I taught the Prince all he knows to this day when handling a weapon. As you see not only does Borovia lack the luscious cherry tree, it also lacks the beautiful women that were with us. Have you seen the queen of Borovia? Anyhow…

I am not sure how well versed my present company is in the lore of the Amkect, so I shall clarify just how fierce this creature is. It has the form of a vulture, yet is thrice its size. Its talons are sharper than any sword created by man. It reads the minds of men, and communicates through telepathy. Legend has it that it is the protector of all winged creatures that take to the air. Very few have ever seen it, and many scoff at my persisting it is real, but it matters naught, as I have the scar to prove my story true. It is however on a rather improper area of my body, and only a few lucky women can testify to its location.

Why that monstrosity had its gaze settled on me. It had heard the cries of the many birds we had taken down that day, and it was quite angry indeed. It threatened to slice me open and stuff my body with the very cherries of the tree that I had just been enjoying the shade of. It put the fear of death in me it did. Thankfully though I was determined to outwit the thing, as I was not ready to die just yet. I promised I would not harm another snipe in my life. Predictably so the creature did not believe me.

Now comes the part that is quite embarrassing you see. As I was stepping backwards trying to reason with the creature, I tripped over my rifle that had been propped up on a rock. My suspender which was undone as I hadn’t completely gotten dressed yet, caught on the trigger. When the shot rang out the creature thought I had tried to take it down as well. He reached for me with his claw. Just when I thought my time was done, that bullet ricocheted off the limb of the cherry tree and right into that bird’s eye. It flailed about so that its wing hit the very branch that had been weakened by the bullet, bringing it down on top of it.

So there I lay with the massive Amkect and a branch from the cherry tree atop of me. Any other man would have been crushed by such weight. Thankfully my friend the Prince and our companions were able to pull me out from under the heap of things.

So you see Baron, I avoid anything having to do with Snipe and Cherries, as just the sight of them brings back the memory of that most horrid afternoon. Surely I could never sleep within the walls of an Inn that served bad memories. And if any woman here doubts my tail, I'm sure we could arrange for a private viewing of my scar.

((OOC: That ended up longer than intended. Hope it's okay. lol It was great fun being able to tell a tall tale. Even though Lord Boris is a bit rash for me. ))

((OOC: Ain't gonna lie, I left that as a loophole. I was going to do something with the Ameckt, but I decided not to. But whatev.))

Miranda nodded an acknowledgement. "Very impressive Lord Hogarth! A real Ameckt? My my I would scream my head off in a situation like that! Most carrion birds have fragile eardrums you see. But I must compliment your calm and good sense. A toast! And where is a tray of wine when you need one?"

Eolyn, having an interest in myths and legends, was intrigued by this Amkect of which she had previously never heard. "I know nothing about this Amkect, my Lord Boris, but I must say it sounds much like the creature known as a Cockatrice. You must tell me more about this!"

((Seriously, is the Amkect something real or did you make it up? And yes, I would like to know about it. ^_^ We have some time to kill, so go ahead.))

((OOC: FurryPanda... I'm very thankful that you left it as a loophole.
annachibi- Actually... I totally made the whole thing up. Lord Boris on the other hand is 100% certain it happened.))

Why Lady O'Daly do not be too harsh upon yourself, as many of today's scholars have dismissed the bird's existance as drunken men's tall tale. Therefore they don't care to teach young women like yourself about it. I am not sure how much more I can detail the creature. However, if you are ever in Borovia, tell the second Prince I sent you. See, after they removed me out from under the large creature, he plucked one of it's tail feathers as a momento. He has it in his private quarters to this day, I dare say it is larger than a child!

"Lord Hogarth, what with all this excellent liquor flowing so freely, how are you not a drunken man weaving tall tales? But truly I do not know overmuch of these Ameckts either. At least cockatrices exist! American birdie, cockatrices."

The end of Lord Hogarth's story also signaled the end of the bottle of tokay. Fortunately, a second bottle had been secreted from Lord Kennicot's cellar, and as Baron Munchausen fought the cork, he turned with interest to the Lady Elizabeth Danning.

"Lady Danning," he began as he struggled against the stubborn cork, "I seem to recall a story of similar peculiarity in which you were the primary player. Perhaps you would be good enough to explain to us why you showed the Empress of Sweden's bloomers to the town of Dusseldorf?"

The Baron coughed discretely. "I have, myself, visited Dusseldorf on several occasions," he said, tilting his glass, "and it was always my impression that, with the Emperor being fond more of painted portraiture than that of the photographer, had sentenced to no less than one hundred years in prison anyone found keeping a photograph on their person?"

(( Funny! Fluid, you come up with the best stuff! ))

"Baron, while that may be true, I quickly hid the photo in the layers of my dress, and no-one knew any different. After this dinner I was alone in my room. Lighting a candle, I looked at the photo, and got a shock! It was not of the Emperor with another woman, it was the Empress with another man! Of course, I had to inform Emperor Viktor of what his wife was up too. Immediately wrapping a robe around myself, I hurried to his study, where he was still awake, poring over legal documents. I informed him of what was happeing and such a rage he flew into! The next morning I awoke and went to his chambers, and he told me that he was adressing the town. I went with him and he announced that the Empress had committed a foul act, and must be humiliated. He gave me a photograph to hold up, saying it was the one exception he would allow, and that photo I showed the town, was the Empresses' bloomers. That is my tale."

Eolyn blushed at this story, though she had a grin on her face. "My, my, what an interesting turn of events. I certainly would not want my negligeé on display for all the town to see! Bravo, Lady Danning, for not turning a brilliant shade of crimson while telling your tale."

'What an amazing tale," announced the Baron, replenishing his glass. "It reminds me of another I heard recently--in which you were the primary actor, Duchess Miranda Cottington. I'm aware of only the most insignificant aspects of your adventure, so perhaps you could make us all aware of why the apes on the Rock of Gibraltar regard you as the leader of their pack?"

"Now now now Baron, I'm glad you asked, I've been looking to set the record straight on that matter. You see the Apes of Gibraltar truly are a marvelous bunch. They even seem to take on the finest charachteristics of modern civilization, with thier leader chosen by ballot. They are rather crude in thier system, as it is on large fern leaves as opposed to paper, but for monkeys, I find it rather impressive.

Anyway, I was in the region due to the fact that my father's sword had been taken from me by outlandish rogues while I was passing through Spain. The fellows jumped me and I was outnumbered thirty to one, elsewise, I would never have been overcome. With my sword gone and no other pressing concerns I followed them into the woods, and they led a merry chase across what seemed like the enitre eastern hemisphere, even Nepal and China! Eventually we wound up in the forests of Gibraltar, and I lost my quarry.

I searched aimlessly for several days and then where do I find myself but in the center of a huge clearing, with apes hooting at me on every side! I felt it unsporting to shoot on monkeys, after all they don't know any better, so I was led off through a truly dizzying set of forest paths. We wound up at a pleasant stream with quietly tweeting birds, huge grass hammocks and the occasional tree house. I wasn't quite appreciating the beauty of the little ape village, however, as I was tied to a tree.

"Why, your narrative has several points of such interest that I'm certain it shall be remembered for at least five or six decades to come, if not longer!" exclaimed the Baron. "But, there is one thing which puzzles me. Aren't the apes of Gibraltar possessed of such a stict system of morality that they would never think to look upon a woman, let alone place their hands upon one?"

"Baron, I was just about to get to that point in my tale. As is well known, the apes of Gibraltar will not harm a lady, however by that point I hardly fit the bill, having been gallivanting through the far east for months in breeches. They probably couldn't tell the sliughtest difference between me and anyone else who wanders their forests making general havoc.

Indeed the people that stole my sword had been waging guerilla warfare of sorts upon the poor apes, and upon realizing my gender, and the fact that I was not one of them they humbly requested my assistance, in a manner remarkably similar to being quietly escorted to the brutes camp, by way of ape-like puppy dog eyes. The rogues, upon seeing me burst out laughing and were caught in helpless convulsions. I can't really blame them, it does not do a girl good to be wandering in ape country for days with no running water!

Seeing my oppurtunity, I took back my sword, gave a stirring speech on the value of the environment, and seeing as they were still rolling about helplessly, I tied them up to leave for the apes' justice. When I wandered back to their encampment the apes chivvied me onto a woven sedan chair-like object, and carried me to a platform where two of the apes were standing.

I was getting quite nervous by then, after all I was armed with a sporting weapon, but the apes were quite adamant about me not leaving the platform while copious amounts of fern leaves with red dirt markings were deposited at the platform's foot. Finally the last ape dropped his leaf, a fearsome looking old silver back counted them, and I was carried off on the sedan chair again to a throne.

I assumed that somehow I was thier duly elected queen, but I explained to them that I had a duchy to run, and the reluctantly let me leave with much fanfare and some jungle wine. I have vistied them a few times, and am always welcome there as the ape queen who abdicated.

((OOC: "guerilla warfare," I love it!))

It was at this point that the Baron, finding that his glass was nearly empty and that the two bottles of Lord Kennicot's tokay had been drained to the dregs, signalled to a nearby servant to fetch another bottle from the Lord's cellar. "It seems," he said with a rueful glance at his glass, "that I have but one toast-worth of wine left in my glass, but I with heartfelt pleasure raise my glass and give it to you, Duchess Cottington!" And, indeed, he finished off his tokay with a salute to his companions.

"While we wait for this dullard servant who allowed us to be caught in such a parched situation," continued the Baron, "perhaps you, Lady O'Daly, would enlighten us with the details of an adventure which I have only heard alluded to by a former companion of mine? How, on your celebrated crossing of the Sahara desert, were you able to eat your camel one night and still ride it the following day?"

((I think I've heard an actual story like that, Fluid!))

"Well, as you all know, I am a curious sort, and I will do just about anything once simply to experience it. As I was on my way to Egypt to see the pyramids and learn about the ancients, I came across a strange old man selling camels. He had only two, and looked to be in dire poverty. I took pity on him and bought one of the camels for twice what it was worth. He thanked me profusely and went on his way.
"Now, for those of you who are not acquainted with camels, they are usually rather disgusting creatures. They spit, fart, and make terrible noises. This one, however, was absolutely calm and quiet. I was wondering whether it was perhaps afflicted, when suddenly it spoke!
"'Why did you buy me from that old man?' it asked. 'You don't need a camel to get where you're going.'
"Looking around to see if I was hearing someone else, I saw we were in a deserted alleyway. 'Did you just talk?' I asked the camel in a whisper.
"'Yes,' it replied. Indeed, its lips moved with the words!
"'Well... I bought you because I thought the old man needed the money,' I said.
"'What will you do with me now?'
"I thought for a moment. 'I'm not sure, really. What do you want me to do with you?'
"'Take me to the Sahara Desert. I've always wanted to go there!'
"And so, my trip to Egypt began its detour to the Sahara."

((OOC: Oh my... I'm glad I didn't get that one!))

Lord Boris Hogarth, couldn't seem to get passed Lady O'Daly'a first sentence. "...I will do just about anything once simply to experience it." A rather large grin that any proper man would have been embarrassed to bare laid upon his lips.

"Please Lady, excuse a man's impertinence, but I was under the impression that exportation of camels from the middle east had been outlawed. As I recall, it had something to do with the dear Queen's most unfortunate run in with the dirty creatures. Surely the man and his goods would have been confiscated by the royal authorities."

((OOC: Ehh... It's weak... but I can't think of anything else, and I hadn't interrupted anyone yet.))

"Of course, Lord Hogarth, that would have infinitely complicated things was I to take him with me to Egypt. However, seeing as I was not intending to do any camel-smuggling, I was perfectly safe.
"The talking camel told me she would take me to a village in the middle of the Sahara. I packed food and provisions for the trip, and we journeyed for perhaps two weeks straight into the heart of the desert. On the 15th day, we arrived at a group of huts situated around an oasis. It seemed completely empty. We went from hut to hut, looking inside and calling out for anyone who might still be there. Eventually, we found a baby camel in one of the huts, shaking and confused. I looked to my own camel for an explanation.
"'This is supposed to be the village of the camels,' she told me. 'We have lived here without human intereference for hundreds of years. But it seems the time of peace has come to an end.' She knelt down on her forelegs and nuzzled the baby. 'Come, little one. We will take care of you.'
"Once the two camels had grazed and eaten their fill, it was time to depart. Unfortunately, my own stock of food had run out. I had assumed when she said 'village,' that she meant some sort of human civilization and I would be able to replenish our supplies there, but no such luck. After about a week on our journey back, I was famished and near death. When we set up camp that night, the camel instructed me to build a large fire with a spit.
"'Why? We have no food,' I said.
"'You must eat or you will die. I will be your food.'
"'What?! Certainly not!' I protested.
"But her logic was infallible. In the end, my hunger and sense of self-preservation won out, and I feasted with tears streaming down my face. When I had finished, I put out the fire and curled up to sleep, full of regret.
"I woke up in the morning with my head upon something warm and soft. Turning round, I saw, not the baby camel, but the same full-grown camel I thought I had eaten the night before! I jumped up, startled out of my skin!
"'Wha--?! You're dead! I ate you!' I shouted, losing all composure.
"She stood up and stared me straight in the face. 'You selflessly bought a camel from a poor old man, even though you had no use for one. Then you went out of your way to do what that camel requested of you. Finally, even when it was necessary for your own survival, you killed that same camel with remorse that humans usually only show for other humans. When you return to your home in Ireland, you will find a gift from my master.'
"Indeed, when I did get home a few months later, I found a package waiting for me. Inside was a pair of ornately embroidered camel-saddles. Suddenly, I heard a noise, and turning around, I saw my two beloved camels sauntering up to me. How they got there, and what magic I had witnessed, I will probably never know. So concludes my tale."

Once Lady O'Daly had finished her narrative, the Baron, finding his glass once again replenished (as well as finding one of the servants slinking away with apologies for having let the company go so long without any liquid sustenance), immediately rose and bowed to her. "Indeed, my lady," he started with newly-revitalized throat," that is one of the most unusual tales I have heard for some time, barring of course one or two of my own expeditions to the arid desert in the past several years. I raise my glass to you!" And so he did, the sunlight wavering through the deep red liquid and casting a crimson shadow upon the floor of the gazebo.

"I find myself recalling the situation I once found myself in, when I visited the cannibals of the deep jungles of Peru. In order to decide which of the village elders would enjoy the ceremonial evening meal, they would each tell a story of much splendor, and then vote upon which of them had told the most entertaining and delightful, the winner so being would sup upon the delicious stew. Finding myself in the stew pot--as I was being prepared to be the meal in question--it took one of my most ingenious machinations to escape. That, of course, is a tale for another time, but I think that the contest would be most interesting upon this occasion. Of course, none of you would actually seek to sup upon one of the company--at least, I think not--but perhaps we could have a wager of sorts.

"And so I propose that we determine which of you has told the most splendiferous and exciting adventure this afternoon, with the winner agreeing to, upon some future occasion, host us all with their most delicious wine, in copious amounts, as well as their tastiest provender.

"Do you agree to my little wager?"

((OOC: At this point, cast your vote for the most entertaining tale, though I, the Baron, recuse myself--simply because I am the host, not because I do not wish to share my private cellar!))

"An excellent idea, my dear Baron," said Lady O'Daly, raising her glass as well. "I would say that all the tales we've heard today are wonderful, but I did much enjoy Duchess Cottington's story about the apes. I must therefore vote for her."

"Well Baron, we all know that you are the king of tales now, it's awfully polite of you to bow out. I would have to voice my opinion in that a picture of the Duchess in her britches quite fancies my funny side. I vote for Lady Danning."

Miranda bowed her head at the compliments and raised her glass. "Thank you for the sentiments, but I must say that Lord Hogarth's tale was a wonder of fascination to me, I simply must vote for him. However, when our lovely hosts return, if thier explanation for why the liquor was gone so long does not eclipse any tale we've heard, I shall simply scream!" She laughed merrily and drained her glass.

((OOC: We're just waiting for your votes, pinkgirl4real and GeeWayrocks, and we can declare a winner!))