Oh noes! So awesome! I haven't commented on the last few chapters because i was on vacation.

Everything Changes: It All Comes Crashing Down (Part 4.3)

Estel had started to become a huge help around the house. Between the two of us, we kept things mostly done so that mommy could rest. Estel would go through the house in the mornings and make sure all the beds were nice and neat while I got breakfast for us. Mommy felt better some days and would already be awake before we came down. She said she was feeling better and that she wanted to get some things done. Other days, she would still be sleeping when I would get home from school at 1 o'clock.




On the days when mommy was feeling good, she was happy and loved to have fun with us. When she wasn't feeling so good, she was grumpy and would get upset about the littlest things...like the boys making too much noise. She'd spend most of the day either asleep on the couch or in her room. I hated seeing her like this. I couldn't wait for her to have the baby so she could get back to feeling good again. I could tell she was feeling really horrible most of the time now, cause she had stopped really fussing over herself anymore. Mommy used to always take time to comb and fix her hair, iron her clothes, put on her make-up...But now, she didn't seem to care anymore. She rarely wore makeup anymore and some days she wouldn't even change her clothes.



Finally, little Sylvia was born. She seemed so small and fragile and she cried alot. Sometimes she'd start crying and just cry and cry. I would try feeding her a bottle, rocking her, changing her diaper...everything. Nothing seemed to help her. Not even mommy could get her to calm down. Sometimes she'd get so worked up that her entire body would shake. It was scary sometimes, but after a while, she was okay.



I loved helping mommy with Sylvia. She was almost like having a little doll to care for. I'd give her baths, feed her her bottles, and sometimes just sit and hold her and rock. Silas never came to see her at the hospital when she was born. He never even tried to call mommy. I couldn't imagine how he could just not care, but he seemed to be able to. I felt bad for my baby sister. I had lost my daddy, but I knew he loved me more than ever. She had a daddy who didn't want her. I think that that would be even worse.



One day when I came home, I heard mommy talking to someone in the livingroom. I put my things down on the counter and went to see who she was talking to, expecting to see Granny. Much to my surprise, it wasn't granny. It was Chester Black. One of Silas's old buddies. I started to get angry. How could mommy let one of Silas's friends into our house? I remembered that Chester used to come over to Silas's house and play cards with mommy, Silas, and some other people. I didn't understand why Momma would want to have anything to do with Silas's friends.



Mommy had done herself up. She had washed and curled her hair and even put on make-up. She was the prettiest that I had seen her in a long time. Maybe this meant that after feeling so horrible for so many months that she was finally feeling better. I was happy to see this, though I wasn't happy that the reason she had done so was because of Chester.



After Chester left, Mommy seemed especially happy. She danced and played Sylvia. She asked me about my day and then went on and on telling me about her visit with Chester. Chester had told mommy that Silas sure was a damn fool and that she was better off without him. He also had fallen in love with Sylvia and he had thought she was just a little doll and Silas was a damn fool for not having anything to do with her. I listened to mommy talk, though I wasn't really paying attention to her. I could really care less about Silas OR Chester. My baby sister was all that mattered when Silas was concerned.



When Sylvia started fussing, mommy put her in the crib downstairs to take a nap. Just as mommy was stepping away from the crib, she gasped and leaned over, holding her chest.

"Momma! Are you okay?" I asked, standing up. I went over to her and I could see she was sweating again and very shaky. "What's the matter!?"

"Just a dizzy spell." she said, and straightened up. "I need to go lay down for a while I think. Can you keep an eye on Sylvia for a little while?"

I nodded that I could, and momma went to her room. The days kept on like that. One day momma would be just fine. She's laugh and play and have fun with us. She'd be awake and doing things around the house and taking care of the younger ones. Then some days, she'd be tired and sick. I didn't know what was going to happen to her or us. She hadn't been able to find a job yet because she was always so sick, but I knew that Nori's dad Andy wasn't going to let us live there forever without paying him.

A couple weeks later when I got home from school, Mommy was excited and met me at the door when I got off the bus. "I finally found a job, Victoria!" I could see that she was very happy. Her eyes were wide and she grinned as she was telling me about it. She would be working as a receptionist at one of the local doctor's offices. Finally we would have money to take care of the bills. I was happy for mommy and knew she must have felt relieved by the news.



That evening, mommy came downstairs and was all dressed up once again. She handed Sylvia to me and asked if I would be able to keep an eye on the kids tonight. Chester had asked her out to dinner and a movie to celebrate her new job. "Chester?" I asked her. "How can you stand to be around him?"

"Just because he was friends with Silas doesn't mean he's a bad person, Victoria. There's no harm at all in being friends with people." A horn sounded from out front and mommy looked out the window. "Ok, Chester's here. Don't stay up too late and make sure the trips are in bed by 9. Love ya!"

I was kinda scared. Well, actually, alotta scared. Mommy never even gave me a chance to say much about the idea before she rushed out the door. I had never stayed home alone with the kids at night before, and I wasn't sure where mommy was going or when she would be back.



Hopefully everything would be okay and mommy would be back soon. I tried to reassure myself that everything would be fine. If anything DID happen, I could always call granny, or Nori's dad Andy. I got out my homework and sat down to work on it. The trips were all upstairs playing, and Sylvia was laying in her bouncy seat. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I started to feel weird the more I thought about things that had been happening. Something just wasn't right and I felt helpless to fix it. I didn't know what was going on, but it felt like things were crashing around me. Little did I know that things were indeed crashing, though not just for me...

Everything Changes: It All Comes Crashing Down (Part 4.4)

It was way late when mommy finally came home that night. In fact, it was almost 5 in the morning. And Chester was with her. I could hear the two of them laughing and talking downstairs, as well as doors and cupboards being opened and closed. I went down to see what was going on. Mommy and Chester were both drinking. And mommy looked drunk already. I watched from the stairs as she walked into the kitchen. She had two new drinks in her hand when she came back to the livingroom and she stumbled, spilling some of it on the carpet. She made it back to Chester and handed him a glass. "To us!" she laughed loudly and clinked her glass on his before drinking almost the whole thing. Mommy saw me on the stairs and motioned for me to come over to her, so I did.

"My daughter is so good to me, you know that Chester. She helps me out with the kids and the housework." Mommy's words came out a slur and her head bobbled as she talked, trying to stand still. Then she turned to me. "It's all okay now, Victoria. You hear me? It's all gonna be okay. I got a job and Chester....and Silas Parker can go to hell!" She laughed. It wasn't her laugh though. It was cold. And mean. And sounded almost crazy. I tried moving away from mommy, but she had her arm around my shoulder now and was leaning on me heavily.

"Mommy, I need to go back to bed. I just wanted to come down and tell you goodnight." I told her, lifting her arm from my shoulders. I didn't want to me close to her now. Mommy was being weird. She smelled like strong alcohol and something else, though I couldn't tell what the smell was. And she was all sweaty. Loud. Abnoxious. I think my mommy was going crazy. And I needed to get away from her. Seeing her like that made me hurt.

I ran upstairs and shut myself in my room. I was starting to feel so lonely. I started to miss daddy again. If he was here, mommy would never be like this. I didn't even have my Anella doll for comfort.



When I got up the next morning, Chester was leaving. He had stayed the night and was walking out of mommy's room. I wanted to scream. I was starting to hate him even more than I hated Silas. Mommy had started getting really sick again ever since he had been around. I wanted him to leave. I wanted him out of our house and away from my family.

Mommy was awake in her room and wandered out shortly after Chester left. She looked horrible. I watched her as she picked up the phone. She was supposed to be starting work today, but she was calling in sick. Her voice sounded hurt when she hung up the phone and she sank down on the stairs. "Those bastards! How can they do this to me! Don't they know I have a family to feed!? I NEEDED that job!" Mommy began to sob. Then, she stood up and jerked the phone off of the wall and threw it on the floor. I just stood there watching. I had never ever seen her so angry. And never seen her throw things. But, we were back at the beginning again. So much for the celebration last night, I thought to myself. It just costed us mommy's job.

I went to school that day, worrying about mommy and Sylvia. I knew mommy was angry when I left and she was sick. I wanted to stay home that day, but I had a big science test that I had to take. Nori could tell something was wrong, but I couldn't tell her about mommy and what was going on. She asked me if I wanted to hang out after school and I told her no, I needed to get home.



When I got home that day after school, Mommy was on the phone again. She had managed to clean herself up though. I didn't know who she was talking too, but she looked much better than she had when I left. It was probably Chester. She seemed to be happiest when one of her boyfriends was around.



Things kept on for the next couple months. Sick. Well. Happy. Excited. Sweaty. Dirty. Sick. Well again. For Sylvia's first birthday, we had a little party and granny came over. I was glad when Chester told mommy he couldn't make it. It seemed like he wasn't coming over nearly as much as mommy wanted him to anymore. He'd come over when mommy wasn't feeling very good. He'd stay for a little while, and then it seemed like mommy was feeling better. I don't know what he did, but he always seemed to make her feel better.

Two weeks later, I had a school trip. I would be gone for 2 days. Nori was going to be there and we planned to have a blast. Granny had paid for it since mommy didn't have any money. I really hated to leave mommy and the kids, but I was excited for the trip. I hadn't really ever been on much of a vacation before, so I was thrilled to be going with all my friends from school.



Junior begged me to take him with me that morning as I get ready to go to school. I laughed and told him to go get in my suitcase. He did! It amazed me how much he looked like my daddy. He even acted silly just like daddy used to. I dumped him out of the suitcase and got my things packed. I had to hurry before Nori and her dad got her to pick me up.

The trip was a blast. We got to go explore the capital city and all the government buildings. After that, we got to break off into groups with the parent chaperones and explore. Nori's dad Andy came with us, so he was in charge of me and Nori. I had wished that mommy could have come, but I knew that she had too much to take care of to be able to.



The house was a disaster when I got back. The stove was dirty from cooking, dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, food wrappers and bags were all over the floor. half-empty bottles and dirty diapers were all over the floor. To top it off, there were 2 bags of groceries that hadn't been put away. It smelled like something in there had gone bad and the whole house stunk. I dropped my bag on the floor when I walked in and yelled out for mommy.



She was laying on the couch in the livingroom. Sylvia was asleep on the floor next to her. Empty glasses and bowls sat right next to the couch. I picked up Sylvia and she woke up crying and hugged me. I had let her down. I didn't know what was going on. The house had never looked a wreck like this before, though of course I had always been there to take care of things. Mommy must have had Chester over while I was gone, because there were alcohol bottles left around as well as ashtrays.



Mommy got up, but didn't say anything to me. She picked up a bag from the floor and started towards the kitchen with it. She was wearing the same sweatsuit that she had had on 3 days ago when I left. I sat Sylvia down and started cleaning things up. It bothered me that mommy didn't even say hello to me, but went right in to the bathroom. I heard her start the shower.



Sylvia started crying again, but I couldn't sit and hold her. There was too much to get done. I got out her playpen and some toys and sat her in it. She seemed to be occupied.



A few minutes later, mommy came out of the bathroom. I had gotten things mostly cleaned up at least. Mommy stood beside me. I could tell she was angry. "So what, you think I'm a bad mom now? I know you've been running your mouth to people, Victoria. So what have you said. Huh?"



I was speechless. I didn't know what mommy was talking about. I hadn't said anything to anyone. Not even to Nori who was my best friend. "I said I want to know what you've been telling people! Nori's dad called here while you were gone and asked me if everything was okay. He said that you seemed upset on the trip. I want to know what you said to him, and I want to know RIGHT NOW!" I winced. I was scared to death. What was going on with my mom?

"I never said anything to anyone, mommy. I promise..." I started, but she interrupted me.

"I don't know who you think you are Victoria, but you had better watch it. I am the mother here, not you! And this is MY house! If you don't like Chester coming here, then by all means. Find some damn place that you might like to live better. I'm tired of this bullshit! I'm tired of always feeling like things are never good enough for you. Always feeling like I'll never compare to the way you felt about your dad. If he hadn't been so damn worried about his job and being the one to save the day all of the time, he'd still be here right now! Wouldn't he!? WOULDN'T HE!" Mommy was screaming at me now. And her words cut me to the bone. I was angry. I was hurt. And I didn't hold back this time. I had never talked back to my mother, but I couldn't contain my anger any longer.

"If YOU were the mom here, YOU wouldn't be leaving all of this stuff here for ME to do! YOU would be the one cooking our dinners and taking care of Sylvia! I would be able to be like a normal thirteen year old girl and have fun when I go on a school trip, not sit there and worry about how my mommy and brothers and sisters were doing without me!"

*Slap!* I felt mommy's hand against my cheek and it stung. Mommy had never EVER slapped me before, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to cry or just get even more mad. "You're treading on some pretty thin ice, little girl." With that, mommy walked into her room and slammed the door.

I don't get what mental issue that woman has. Love it.

she remind some of my dad-in-law. Is she on drug or something? xD

Everything Changes: It All Comes Crashing Down (Part 4.5)

I walked over to the door and stared out the window for a long time. I was lost. I didn't know what was going on or what to do. I had never seen mommy like this before. Something was VERY wrong with her. I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I was hurting so much inside, but all I could be was angry. I wanted to scream. How come things used to be so good when daddy was around. Ever since he passed, they had been utterly horrible. I turned from the door and reached for the phone. I was calling Granny.

As soon as I heard Granny's voice on the other end, I broke. Tears washed down my face and I couldn't speak. I just sobbed. "Hello? Martina? Is that you? What's the matter with you? Martina!?" Granny was getting worried, I could tell it in her voice.

"No, Granny, it's Victoria," I whispered. I didn't want mommy to hear me on the phone with granny for fear that she's get really mad again. She had never hit me besides earlier and I was afraid of what might happen if she knew I was calling granny. "Granny...it's Victoria...Mommy needs your help. Something's wrong with her."

"What do you mean something's wrong? Is she hurt? Victoria, tell me what happened!" Granny was getting frantic and I knew I needed to calm her down.

"Remember how she used to be sick all the time? It's like that again. Can you come over? Please granny?" I was trying to fight back the tears and keep quiet. "I have to get off the phone granny. Can you come?"

"I'll be right there, Victoria!" *CLICK!* Granny hung up the phone. I hung up the receiver just as I heard the door to mommy's room open up. I started up the steps, anxious to get away from having contact with her. She didn't even turn her head, but went straight into the bathroom and shut the door. I could hear her getting sick.

I went up to my room and changed out of my good clothes. I looked at my face in the mirror and the bright red hand mark across my cheek was streaked with tears. I went into the bathroom and put a cool cloth on my cheek. It took away some of the sting. Then it dawned on me. Where were the trips?

Terror struck me for a minute. If mommy could let the house go like it was and not pay attention to Sylvia, I could only imagine what could happen to them. I went first into Estel's room, but no one was in there. Then I went to the boys' room. They weren't in there either. "Oh my gosh!" I thought to myself. Then, just as I was starting down the steps, I heard Junior's voice outside. I ran back and looked out the window and saw them, playing in the open lot next to ours. I was glad that they hadn't been there to see mommy and I's argument.I took a deep breath and went back to my room. I closed the door and laid down on my bed. I was exhausted.

I woke up when I heard footsteps outside my door and saw the handle being turned. I braced myself, hoping that it wasn't Mommy coming in. I feared her for the first time in my life. Slowly the door opened, and I heard a soft voice call my name. It was granny.



I jumped off my bed and ran to her. Granny was here to save us. She had always been the one to help us through things, even at her age. "Granny!" I sobbed and hugged her tight. Granny held me close and then whispered to me, "It's all going to be alright Victoria." Granny kissed my cheek and then pulled back, looking at me.

Instantly, she saw the marks on my cheek. "Victoria...what happened to you?" Granny reached over and closed the door before taking my hand and leading me over to my bed. She sat down and then patted the bed next to her. "Come, sit down child. Tell me what's going on."

So, I told her everything. I told her about the fight I heard between she and Silas, about mommy being sick all the time, about Chester and his visits, about mommy going out and getting drunk and not coming home until the next morning, about mommy's calling in sick and losing the job she hadn't even started, about the house and it being a disaster when I got back, and then I told her about the fight me and mommy had. I told granny the whole story as far as I can remember.

Granny tucked my hair behind my ear and shook her head. "Not again," she whispered, and kissed my forehead. Granny stood up and reached out her hand to me. "This had GOT to stop."


I followed Granny downstairs and paused when I got to the bottom. Mommy was laying on the couch. She opened her eyes and then sat up when she saw Granny. "I didn't know you were here, Mom," my mommy said. I could tell she was shocked to see granny, and perhaps a bit angry.

Granny walked right up in front of mommy and stood, looking at her. "What in the HELL is the matter here?!" I perked up hearing granny curse. I had never seen her get upset about anything before, let alone get upset enough to cuss. "Look at me RIGHT NOW Martina! You remember what happened last time? You remember the hell that was your life back then? You just couldn't stay away from it, could you? It wasn't enough that it almost killed you and your unborn children the last time?" Mommy was more alert now too. She began to stand up and then Granny stepped in closer to her. "Don't you walk away from me child!" Mommy stood up, but remained looking at Granny.



"One shot....that's all I'm giving you this time. You better tell me what's going on and you better tell me what's going on RIGHT NOW or I promise I will call the police and you and your little friends will be locked up good and tight. I'm NOT going to let you do this to yourself or your children again, so you had better start talking." I watched Granny. I was confused at her words. I didn't remember anything like this really ever happening before. Granny pointed at me and continued. "And, you see that sweet child of yours standing over there? She's going to know what is going on. You are going to TELL her what's going on. She's old enough know to know the whole story. You're NOT keeping her in the dark anymore."



I saw that tears had started down mommy's cheeks and for the first time, mommy looked desperate. I waited for mommy to get angry and yell back at granny like she had me, but she didn't. She just stood there.

If what had happened earlier had boggled my mind, this was above and beyond even that. What was granny talking about? I watched as granny walked over to the table and pulled out two chairs and then took a seat herself. "Come sit down Martina, Victoria. Let's talk." I was nervous at what was to come, but I did as Granny said and sat down. I was in for a HUGE surprise.

My dad-in-law has a metal plate in his head and he is a bipolar. I hate the man. He is violent and attacks my husband and says it was all my husbands fault. he then has 200 stories for what happened. I have to bear with him till college because hopefully then husband and I can move out. and wow, I am guessing right all the time xD PS: I gave you a 'Thanks'. You deserve it hun.

I'm sorry to hear about your DIL. Hope things get better for you and you can get away from that situation soon. I've tried to write it so that it doesn't come right out and say what's going on, but that you can hopefully have some kind of an idea if you give it a bit of thought. Wow! Thanks for the "thanks"! I'm glad you seem to be enjoying the story so far. There's much more to come, but I'm trying to pace myself and not just put it all out at once :P

Everything Changes: The Truth Shall Set You Free (Part 5.1)

Mommy pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one before she sat down. Granny shook her head slightly, but said nothing for a few minutes. She just watched mommy. I watched mommy too, and she was trembling.

Finally, Granny spoke. "You're back to using again, aren't you Martina?" Granny didn't sound angry anymore, but her voice was still firm. I could tell that there was alot more wrong with mommy than what she had been telling me. I was scared to find out the truth, but I needed to know.

Mommy buried her head in her hands and began to sob. She wasn't just crying, her whole body shook. It didn't seem to phase granny at all. In fact, the expression on her face was even colder. I just sat and watched my granny and my mommy, unsure of what to say or if I should even say anything at all. "Tell me the truth, Martina. Because I already know."

Slowly, mommy uncovered her face and wiped away her tears. Without saying a word, she nodded her head "yes". I heard a deep breath escape from granny. "Now, I want you to tell your daughter what's going on with you. Why is it that you're always sick? Why is it that most of the time you don't care if you look like the bum from the streetcorner?"



Mommy started to speak. "Mom, Victoria doesn't need to kn.."

Granny cut her off. "Either you tell her yourself or I will tell her. She's thirteen years old Martina, and if you want to make her an adult by having her take care of YOUR children and YOUR house, then she's old enough to know about your drug problem."

Drug problem. DRUG problem. The words hit me like a truck. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I had heard stuff in school, but I never ever EVER thought that my mommy could get involved in something like this. How long had she been doing this, and why hadn't I thought of this before? I repeated the words in my head, unable to think straight. Drug problem. Drug problem. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew it was the truth.


Granny's voice cut through the silence. "Victoria, your mother..." Mommy held up her hand. "Mother, I'll tell her."

Mommy looked at me and I could see how much she was hurting. It was hard for me to look at her. It hurt me even worse than her slapping me earlier.

"Victoria...baby...I'm so sorry...I don't even know how to tell you this." Mommy was crying again, and I could feel tears streaking down my own cheeks as I just sat there and listened to her. I didn't even bother to brush them away. "Victoria, do you remember when you were little and I was gone all the time? I was so busy with trying to go to school and work, both, full time? I couldn't do it, Victoria. I felt horrible because I couldn't be there to take care of you and to raise you. But I wanted so much to be able to finish school and make something of myself. To make a better life for us. I promised myself that I would be done soon and would make it through." Mommy took a deep breath. "And then I met Chester."

Mommy looked down at her hands. "Before you ask, yes, the Chester that has been here and that had been friends with Silas. Chester was studying to get into the medical field as well, though he was going to be a pharmacist. Well, we became friends and we talked more and more. One day, he said something about how tired I always looked. I told him about working and going to school. He said he had something that would give me more energy and make it easier for me to get through. I believed him and trusted him. I was wrong. He gave me some pills and I took one. I didn't know what was inside. They just looked like the energy capsules that you can get at the gas station and I had taken those plenty of times if I had to stay up and study. But, he was right. I was able to get through the long days and come home and be up to take care of the house. But they weren't just normal energy pills, Victoria, it was meth. But I didn't know that until after I had already taken it."

I had heard all about that stuff in school. I couldn't believe that my mommy would be someone who would do stuff like that. Again, I was stunned. The day seemed to get worse and worse every minute. I turned my focus back to my mother. She was sweating heavily again and wiped her face with her hand. "I didn't take them all the time and I was able to keep up. I didn't like taking it, but after the first couple times, I couldn't stop. Then, I found out I was pregnant. I knew that I needed to quit. You were in school by then and your dad was working all the time. When I worked from home, I found out about the NA program and I joined a group. I would go to a couple meetings during the day. With their support, I was able to stop. I don't think your dad ever even knew, or if he suspected anything, he never said a word. I thought my secret was okay....until...until your father was killed." Mommy covered her eyes again with her hands and cried. Granny reached over and rubbed her back.



"I didn't know what to do without your father, Victoria. I was lost! So lost! We had been best friends as kids and he was the love of my life. I couldn't imagine living the rest of my life without him. One day, I called Chester and asked him if he had any more. I needed something to make me feel better again. To help me get up in the mornings and keep myself going throughout the day. So I started using again. More and more. Except, I took too much of it one day, and that's when I ended up in the hospital. It wasn't just because of the trips. It was because I overdosed. Do you remember that?"

Things were starting to make sense now, as I listened to my mother's story. I nodded and looked up at granny. She was nodding her head slightly as my mommy talked. "Every day when I looked at you, I remembered him. You look so much like him, baby!" my mommy cried. "And then when I could feel the babies moving, it killed me inside to know that he would never be able to see them, know that we were having three beautiful babies, to raise them together... I think that honestly a part of me wanted to die along with Ethan. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't leave my children."

My stomach was starting to hurt, but I couldn't get up from the table. I had to know everything and I knew there was still much more for my mommy to tell. After a couple minutes, she calmed herself down again and started. "When your granny found out about me using, Victoria, it was the most shame I ever felt in my life. But, when I overdosed, there was no way for her not to find out. Your granny promised me that if I ever used again, she would turn me in and take you kids away from me. I couldn't bear that, Victoria. I couldn't lose Ethan and you kids too. And then, when the trips were born...They were sick. They didn't know if Junior was going to make it. And part of the reason was because of me using when I was pregnant. I hated myself for that so much. I promised myself and God that if my babies made it, I'd never touch it again. So, after I got out of the hospital, I started going back to those NA meetings again a couple times a week. Your granny would watch after the trips for me. Everything seemed to be calming down there for a while, and I was feeling better. I even went to a doctor about my depression and got on some normal medications. And then, I got that job working for Silas and we moved to Parker place. I thought I could handle being on my own once again, but moving into that new place...it made me feel so alone again. From the start, I knew that Silas had a thing for me, but I always brushed him off. I still wasn't over losing your father yet. So, Silas would come up to the apartment occasionally and we'd hang out and watch movies or something. Then, when the twins were almost a year old, something changed in me. I wanted to move on. I was too young to spend the rest of my life on my own with four children, so I gave Silas a chance. I knew he never really liked kids. I knew that from the start, but I hoped that he would grow to love you guys as much as I did, perhaps, in time."

Granny got up and got a pitcher of water and a couple of glasses and set them on the table. Then, she looked out the window to the lot where the trips had been playing. I could see that there were tears in her eyes, even though she tried to fight them back. Hearing mommy's story made me appreciate and love my granny so much more. All that she had been through and all the care she had given us through the years. And all of this battle she had helped my mommy to fight through since my dad had passed. Tears fell from my eyes as I watched the old woman. I knew she was hurting, yet she stood so strong.

"He never did, though." Mommy's voice broke the silence, and she reached for the pitcher of water. "I don't know what I ever saw in that man, to be honest. I guess maybe I was just tired of being alone. Anyhow, one day shortly after we had moved in with Silas, Chester showed up. I was completely stunned. I didn't know that they had known each other. You know how a few nights a week, some of his buddies came over to play pool, or cards, or something downstairs? Well, we had all gone into the basement and were having a few drinks, when Silas started smoking. I knew instantly what it was and felt my mouth start watering. I had never smoked, but I felt the cravings hitting me heavily. I had had a few drinks, and I couldn't say no when they offered it to me. So, I started again." Mommy gasped and laid her head on the table and cried. Granny closed her eyes and I could see the anger building in her expressions.

"I knew then that Silas was where Chester must have gotten the stuff. But once I had done it again, I couldn't give it up. I tried going to meetings, but living there and being around Silas and knowing everything, I couldn't overcome it. I was trapped. Again. And I couldn't give it all up and start over again. And once more, I was afraid that if your granny found out, I'd lose you kids too. But, then I was pregnant with Sylvia. I knew Silas would leave me when I told him, even though I hoped and prayed that he'd change his mind. When we left there, that night, I was a nervous wreck going back to your granny's. I didn't want her to find out about me using again. That's the reason I was so adamant that we find a place. When you said something about Andy having this place, I just knew he's let us move in. I knew Andy pretty well and we had talked alot, though I can't really go in to detail, and that's not really important. When we moved in here, I was coming down. I think I slept the first three days we were here. When I couldn't deal with it anymore, I called Chester. I knew he'd help me out, because I knew him before I ever knew Silas. And so, he did. And he has been. I've tried to quit...I have, but each time, the withdrawals get so bad, I just want to die."

**RING** The sound of the phone ringing cut through the heavy air like a knife. I think all three of us jumped. Granny got up and answered it. A short minute later, Granny turned to me. "Victoria, it's Nori." I stood up and walked over to Granny. I took the receiver in my hand.

"Hello?" I asked. Nori wanted to know if I wanted to come over and watch a movie tonight. She said that her dad was going to be late at the office. I watched Granny and mommy while I talked to Nori. Granny was whispering something to mommy that I couldn't hear, but she was leaning over and almost hugging her while she rubbed her back. Mommy was crying. Her arms were folded on the table and she had her face buried in between them.

"Hello? Are you still there?" Nori asked, and I realized I had been spacing out.

"Ill have to talk to my mom and call you back in a little bit, okay Nori?" I asked and she agreed. I hung up the phone.


Mommy stood up from the table and walked over towards me, then stopped and buried her face in her hands once again. I walked over to her and put my arms around her. And, we cried. It felt like the whole world had crashed down around us. My stomach hurt and I felt almost like I could barely breath.


Granny had been standing behind us, and when mommy finally let me go, Granny wrapped her arms around mommy and held her tight. Granny was crying now too. "I love you so much baby." my granny cried as she held on to mommy. "I just wish you would have told me sooner!" For the first time in a long time, I knew it would be okay. I wasn't sure how it would be or what it was going to take to make it that way, but I was sure that it would be okay.

**SPOILER ALERT**

I wanted to thank those that left comments on the last updates. I was thinking about changing up the use of "mommy" in the story, but the story isn't happening as it unfolds, hence the past tenses of everything. It's being told to someone, which you will find out in the ending. Also, this is the reason why I haven't changed the way Victoria talks or describes things. I think I may have given away too much already, possibly, but hope that in the ending, the way I have written the story will make more sense :P

Love your story! It just gets better and better every chapter! I support it 100%!

Well, after I read the latest chapter to the end, I have a better idea of why the writing style is the way it is. (I won't say anything--my assumption could be wrong anyway!) It makes a lot more sense though, thank you for clearing that up for me. This really is some great work, especially for your first story.

Everything Changes: The Truth Shall Set You Free (Part 5.2)

**The following is a continuance of the last section, so is kind of short, but still tells more of the story.**



I sat at the table for a while, thinking about all that had been said. It was overwhelming. How could this happen to us?! Why my mommy?! I found comfort in staring out the window, watching the lightning bugs flicker outside.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was brought out of my daze by the ringing of the phone again. Mommy answered it and I could tell it was Nori again. "Victoria, it's Nori baby." Mommy called. I was glad. Nori always had a way of helping me through things. I took the phone from Mommy. I told Nori I would love to come over and she said she'd come pick me up in a few minutes. I hung up and then threw on some clothes.

Mommy came upstairs and hugged and held me for a few minutes. "I'm so sorry to have let you down, Victoria. I never meant to hurt you, baby. You've been such a wonderful daughter all these years, I'm so sorry about earlier."

"It's okay, mommy," I told her, holding her tight. "Granny will help us and we will get through." I heard Nori's horn downstairs, and let go of mommy. "I love you, Mom!" I told her.



Granny was cleaning up the kitchen the rest of the way when I came back down. I stopped on my way out to hug granny once again and thanked her for coming over.

"Any time, my dear child, any time," Granny whispered. "Now, go relax and have some fun with Nori. Don't worry about us here. Everything will be okay."




I felt better as I climbed into the passenger seat of Nori's car, though my whole body still felt slightly numb. "Is everything okay, Victoria?" Nori asked me when I had shut the door.

"No, Nori...It's not." I told her, on the verge of tears once again. Nori put the car in drive and started off.

"So, what's going on? Your mom sick again? Nori asked, not taking her eyes off the road.

"Yes, she's very sick, Nori. And it's not just the flu, or a cold. It's drugs, Nori." The silence that followed was nearly deafening.

I wanted Nori to say something, to make everything alright. Finally when she spoke, her voice was strained. "I know Nori. I've known about your mom for a long time now. I just, could never say anything to you. I knew how much you loved your mom and how much she meant to you. Every night, I just prayed that she'd get better. I couldn't be the one to tell you about it, Victoria."

Nori knew? What?! But how? I wondered. Nori had only lived a few blocks away, so the car ride was short. As she pulled the car into the driveway and parked it, she turned to me and took ahold of my hand. "Victoria, I know what you're going through. I don't know that I've ever told anyone this, but my mom and dad went through the same thing. That's the real reason my mom isn't around anymore. Because she just couldn't leave 'em alone. They were the most important thing in her life." Nori explained as she got out of the car and shut the door. I followed behind her and we went in the house. It was dark inside except for a small night light in the kitchen. "C'mon, let's go talk," Nori said, leading me back to her room.



We both climbed into our pajamas and then plopped down on Nori's bed. I felt right at home at Andy and Nori's house. I had spent quite a bit of time here. When we were both settled, Nori began again. "One day, my mom left me at my dad's house because she was going to go out and then, she just never came back. My dad knew it was time to quit or risk losing me. He got an attorney and won full custody of me. Then he started going to counseling and meetings..." Nori paused for a second.

"He met your mom there and they used to be friends. Your mom would come over here and talk to my dad when she was feeling bad or needed someone to talk to. And my dad would call her when he needed some help with something about me. But, then she stopped coming around when you were living with Silas. My dad said he figured she was probably back at it again and he couldn't be in that situation. It was one of the reasons that I didn't come around a whole lot there for a while. It wasn't just because we were working on that house. I confirmed his suspicions when I told him about how your mom would be sick one day and just fine the next. My dad worried about your mom alot, Victoria. I don't know if you knew that. When your mom called about renting my gramma's old house, he was happy, Victoria. He hoped that perhaps she would be able to break the addiction once and for all. Plus, I think he missed their friendship."

More secrets. More things that happened right under my nose and I never knew about it. I wondered what more people knew about things in my life that I didn't know. Although, in a way, it was almost a comfort. Finally, all the pieces of the puzzle that was my life were starting to be put in place and I could see the whole story that it was telling.

Everything Changes: The Truth Shall Set You Free (Part 5.3)

The next day was Saturday, and when I got home, I found Nori's dad was at the house fixing the trash compacter. "Good morning, Victoria," Mommy said.

"Good morning, Mom. Morning Andy." I called to Nori's dad. It was somewhat odd to see him at the house, even if he did own it.

"So, come talk to me, Nori." Mommy said from the table, waving her hand for me to come sit by her. "You never really said too much last night. Tell me what you're thinking. And don't worry. Granny took the trips to the zoo for a few hours, so it's just us."

Honestly, I really didn't know what to think. I knew that something needed to happen, but I wasn't sure what would help the situation. "I'm really not sure what to think, " I admitted. "I guess, it's still a surprise for me to learn all of that stuff. I mean...I always thought that we were like any normal family. We don't have all of the family problems and don't live on the streets like they always talk about many people with drug problems do. Even if we don't have daddy anymore, we still have each other. We have granny. I never thought that anything like this would happen to us."



"And that's just it, Victoria. So much of what you hear gives people the wrong impression. Drug problems and addictions don't just happen to people of a certain race or to a certain "kind" of people. They can happen...and DO happen to anyone. Addiction is one thing in life that's not prejudiced. I wanted help, Victoria. And I knew I needed it. But I couldn't stand anyone to know that I had a problem. Especially you, baby. I couldn't bear putting you through all of that pain and hurt after all that you have already been through. But, thinking about it just made feel even worse and I just wanted to use even more to make the feelings go away. And then doing it made me feel guilty, but I was too hooked on it to let it go, even though I wanted to." Mommy took a long drink of her coffee and then set the cup back down.

"How come you never wanted Granny around? Is it because of that?" I asked her, remembering the times that I had suggested calling Granny and mommy adamantly refusing.

"Yes, Victoria. Your grandmother, as I said, had promised me to take you kids away from me if she ever found me back into it again. I couldn't let that happen. I love you guys too much." I could see a small tear making its way down mommy's cheek. She quickly brushed it away with the back of her hand.

"Well, I think it's all set to go Marti," Andy stated, walking over to the table.

"Oh, thanks Andy," Mommy responded, looking up at him. There was some kind of join message in their expressions as I watched them looking at each other.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, Marti. And I really hate to...involve myself in your personal business. But...is everything okay?" Andy looked concerned.

Mommy shook her head at him. "No, Andy. It's not." Mommy continued on and told him all about what had happened. Starting with when daddy died. Andy watched her as she spoke, but said nothing. I had always admired him for being so sweet and gentle. Secretly, I envied Nori. I wished my dad was still alive. I knew we would have been close like Andy and Nori were.

Andy walked over to mommy when she finished and leaned over to hug her. "It's going to be okay, Marti," he assured her and then sat back down at the table. "So what's your plan?"

"I'm really not sure." She told him. "I think I need to get into treatment somewhere. Some place that I can't be tempted by Chester anymore. Some place away from here for a while so I can get things back on track again."

"So...some place like Hope House?" Andy suggested.

"Hope House?" mommy asked him.

"Yes. Hope House. It's a treatment and recovery center for women and their children. The wife of one of the guys I work with is a counselor. She talks about it sometimes if I'm over watchin the game with Randy. That's her husband. Her name is Natalie. I can call her and see if she'd be willing to help you out with finding something if you'd like." Andy paused for a moment. "I'm sorry Marti. I shouldn't be so pushy. I mean. It's up to you. I'm just trying to help."

"Please do." Mommy whispered. It was the first time I had ever seen mommy looking desperate. I could tell she really wanted help. And not just wanted it...she NEEDED it.


Andy called and talked to Natalie. He told her he had a friend who was in need of help and wanted to know if she would be willing to come over and talk to her and maybe help her get into the program. She had agreed, but said it wouldn't be until later. Andy told her that was fine and that he'd see her later.

"I think the first thing you need to do, Marti, is get yourself to a meeting. There's one at noon today at the Fellowship Club. You be interested in going with me?" He smiled, looking hopeful. Mommy nodded looking at the clock on the stove.

"If we're going to do that, then I had better get moving! It's already 10:30." I saw a smile form on mommy's face as I watched her get up from the table. She walked over to Andy who was already standing and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you Andy. You know, you've always been the one person in my life that I knew would understand what I was going through and wouldn't judge me for it."

"Marti...I've been through all of this before. If it wasn't for Nori, I might still be. But there's no way in hell I could ever do what her mother did to her. Ever!" Andy hugged mommy back and smiled at her. "We're going to get through this, Marti. I'm here to help you. Now...I'm gonna run home and take a shower quick and put on some decent clothes. You can get your stuff done and I'll pick you up in an hour?"

"Sounds like a plan, Stan." Mommy laughed, and we both watched as Andy closed the front door.

"How come he calls you Marti?" I asked Mommy when I was sure that Andy had gone.

"He's always called me Marti. From way back when I quit the first time and started going to meetings. That's where I first met him. We'd go to meetings together, or special events held by NA. He's always been a pretty good friend of mine, even if we haven't really talked much in years." So what Nori said WAS true. It struck me as a bit odd that I hadn't ever known this, but then again there was a lot that I didn't know.



Natalie showed up at about 4pm. Andy answered the door and welcomed her inside. He and mommy had come back from the meeting at about 2pm. They spent the afternoon talking about all the things that Andy wanted to do with the house. Mommy chimed in here and there about how awesome it would be to have a greenhouse again and walk-out balconies. They walked around inside the house and Andy would point to something and then tell her how he was planning to change it, and then mommy would ask him, "What about if you..." and he'd listen and nod or wrinkle his nose up. Then they went outside and repeated the whole process. It was nice to see mommy having fun with someone, for a change, that didn't mean getting drunk or obnoxious. Natalie had called at 3:30 and said she was on her way, so Andy had just stayed.

"Anderson, my dear! How are you?!" Natalie cried, giving Andy a brief hug. "So what's new? Anything? You behaving yourself?"

"Oh of course! How could you expect any less?" Andy chuckled. "Coming up on ten years clean and sober in about four months. Hard to believe it's been that damn long."

"Well, good for you!" Natalie congratulated him with a pat on the shoulder.

"And you must be Natalie?" Mommy asked, walking into the kitchen, her hand stuck out.

Natalie took it in hers and shook it slightly. "Excuse me for being an airhead...Andy told me your name, but I have completely forgotten."

"Martina," Mommy smiled. "But you can call me Marti...Tina...just plain Martina, or whatever you like."

Natalie nodded. "So, Martina. Anderson here tells me you are interested in possibly getting into Hope House?" Mommy nodded in response. "You do realize that this is a substance abuse treatment and recovery center, right?"

Mommy nodded again. "Yes, ma'am. I do. And I really need help. I am willing to do whatever it takes. I just need to go somewhere away from here." Natalie nodded and took out a pen and a day planner. "Ok, I will see what I can do. We have a pretty lengthy waiting list, but I can work on trying to get you in as quickly as possible. Luckily for you, I am the intake coordinator and assessment counselor. I brought some things here with me to hopefully get things started. I don't normally do this for people, but since Andy's such a dear friend, I'll see what I can do. Now keep in mind, I can't promise how soon I can get you in, but I'll try, ok?"

Natalie looked up at me and then back to mommy. I had been standing next to the sink since she had gotten here, though she seemed to just now have noticed me. "And this would be...a daughter?"

Mommy nodded. "That's Victoria. She's my oldest."

"You have any other children?" Natalie asked. And so it continued. Natalie asked mommy all kinds of questions. Questions about how long she had used, if she had ever tried to stop before, and on and on.

I had somewhat zoned out until Natalie asked to see mommy's arms. "That's a weird question," I thought to myself. Mommy did as she asked though, and stuck her arms out.

"IV user?" Natalie asked. I didn't understand it at first, but it sunk in when I saw the dark bruises on mommy's arms. Mommy nodded and hid her arms under the table, tossing a quick glance at Andy.

"Well, not that it's a good thing at all, but that fact qualifies you as an emergency case." Natalie explained.



"So what does that mean?" Andy asked abruptly.

"Well, in the event of an IV user, we consider that to require more urgent attention than some others. I mean, don't get me wrong, all substance abuse issues are important and require attention. But IV use is considered even more a danger and we can push them to the top of the waiting list because they're considered emergent cases." Natalie closed her planner and looked at mommy.

I watched as Natalie reached under the table and took ahold of mommy's hand. "This is a big step, you know. Admitting that there's a problem and reaching out for help. But you should also know that treatment isn't a fix-all. We can give you tools and help in reaching and maintaining sobriety, but you have to want it. It's going to require a lifestyle change and a commitment to it. You can't just go to treatment for a few months and then come out on your own again and think you can go back to the way that things were. Those are the cases that you hear about people going right back to using again within a few months. Don't let yourself fall into that, Martina." Natalie looked over and nodded at Andy before continuing. "If I know Andy, he'll be a great support. And you're going to need that. The road is not easy and I commend anyone who can overcome their addiction. I myself have been through it. I know what it's like. For many many years of my life I would be drunk seven days a week. Most of the time before noon even. I'm not trying to come off as being harsh or unkind, Martina. But this is a serious thing that we're talking about here, and I want to make sure you understand that and be sure that you are really ready for this."

Mommy sat and listened to Natalie. I could tell she was getting nervous and anxious because she kept moving around in her chair. But, she nodded when Natalie was done. "Yes, I understand. As I said. This isn't the first time that I've quit, but it'll be my first time in treatment, which scares me to be honest."

"Don't be scared hun. Everyone there is going through the same things that you are about to. You'll have a peer support person that can show you around and the counselors are all wonderful ladies. So long as you work your program and follow the expectations, you'll get along just fine." Natalie looked at her watch. "Well, I suppose, I should probably head out. It's almost 6 and Randy'll be back from golfing before too long and want his dinner." She turned and hugged mommy. "Hang in there hun. I'll give you a call on Monday and let you know what the plan is. I have to look and see when we're going to have any open apartments and will go from there. In the meantime, " she continued, handing mommy a card, "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call. Here's my home number," she said, writing on the back, "And I mean it...if you need ANYthing, please call me. Doesn't matter if it's 3 o'clock in the morning."

Mommy stood up and thanked Natalie for her help and then waved to her as she closed the door. Andy walked over and put his arms on mommy's shoulders. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?"

Mommy shook her head. "No, and Natalie seems like a wonderful lady. I just hope I can make it through until we can get in there. It's already starting to drive me crazy."