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Scholar
Original Poster
#1 Old 26th Aug 2014 at 10:44 AM Last edited by IrishA03 : 27th Aug 2014 at 1:49 PM. Reason: Typos and Mistakes!
Default The Girl in the Red Dress
The Girl in the Red Dress - Bella's Life

"Bella! Are you dressed yet? Mr Landgraab will be here any minute, and I want you to look respectable and neat!"
I sigh and work my way to the wardrobe. I'm not sure why Mom was making such a big deal about Mr Landgraab coming over. Why is he coming over, anyway? And why is it so important?
Flinging open my wardrobe doors, I take out my red formal dress. Needless to say, red is my favourite colour. I wear it every day, in dress form, top form, jeans, shorts or skirt form. In my hair, on my wrists, around my neck...well, you get it.
My dress is tighter than before- a sure sign that it's too small. Oh well. It'll have to do for now.

"Bella! Brush your hair then get down here!" Mom yells again. I glance at myself in the mirror. No need to brush my hair, it's fine enough already. I'm just ready to go down the stairs when my phone buzzes. It's Mortimer, my best friend since kindergarten. We're at the beginning of the senior year. What does that say?
I press "Answer" and hold the phone up to my ear.

"Yes, Mortimer?" Mortimer sounds excited.
"Bella, guess what?"
"What, Mortimer? Make it quick, Mom and Dad have something important on, and they need me." Mortimer laughs. "Just listen, Bella! I got that job at the science department! It'll look great on my cv!"
I smile. "Well done, Mo. Okay, I gotta go, Mom's calling me. See you later?"
"Sure. Bye."
The phone goes dead. Time to go downstairs.

***
"So, Geoffrey, do you have any news about the Altos?"
Geoffrey Landgraab sighs and shakes his head at my dad, Simis. My dad looks shocked, and slightly disappointed. My mom, Jocasta tilts her head, willing Geoffrey to continue. My brother, Michael, is bored and is texting non stop on his phone. I don't know who he's texting though, because he never used to bring home friends from school. Maybe someone from his old track team? Too bad we didn't go to the same school, or I might know.

"Hey, Mom, can I go out? I'm meeting up with a friend soon." Michael asks innocently. Mom glares at Michael. Michael stares right back at her. He's going to be leaving for college soon, (he took a year and a half gap year) so he doesn't care if he gets in trouble. But for some reason, I don't think that he should be acting up today. I think that today is important to Mom and Dad. Once again, I'm not sure why. Mom opens her mouth, but Dad puts his hand on her arm. "It's okay, Jocasta. Let him go. Actually, Bella, you go too."

Michael glances at me. I raise an eyebrow questionably. Then Michael shrugs, and scoots back his chair to get up. "C'mon Bella, let's go."
I stare at him. Doesn't he think that this is slightly weird? Michael sighs. "Fine then. I'll have to force you." he grumbles, and he grabs me arm and yanks me out of my chair and out onto the porch.

"Don't you get it? We'll split up, have fun, and Mom and Dad won't care because they're too busy with Sir Royal Landgraab. So, you call Mortimer and hang out, and I'll call my friends and hang out." Michael grins, raising an eyebrow and nodding at me. I don't have time to protest before he drags me into his car and drives me up to Mo's house.
I don't know what's going on, but before I can call Michael back, he drives away, leaving me in the Goth's driveway. And just my luck. It starts to rain.
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Scholar
Original Poster
#2 Old 26th Aug 2014 at 10:44 AM
Pictures will come soon.
Lab Assistant
#3 Old 26th Aug 2014 at 9:27 PM
erm i like it...
Scholar
Original Poster
#4 Old 26th Aug 2014 at 9:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XoxBElieveXox
erm i like it...

Thanks....(?)
Lab Assistant
#5 Old 27th Aug 2014 at 9:26 AM
post more please ??
Scholar
Original Poster
#6 Old 27th Aug 2014 at 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XoxBElieveXox
post more please ??

Sure. I just need to send chapter two to my e-mail and then post it.
Scholar
Original Poster
#7 Old 27th Aug 2014 at 1:50 PM
I was just looking over it, and my God, I made so many mistakes!! I corrected most of them, thank God.
Scholar
Original Poster
#8 Old 27th Aug 2014 at 7:12 PM
Default Chapter Two
"Bella? Wh-what are you doing here at this time?" I'm standing at the door to Mo's house, dripping and cold. The minute Michael left, the slight drizzle turned into a heavy downpour, making my dress wet and clingy. I just want to go inside, and warm up. Hopefully their fire will be lit.

"Don't dawdle, Mo! I'm cold and wet. Can I please just come in?"
Mo laughs, and opens the door for me. Does he think that this is funny? My brother just left me out in the rain!
"C'mon in, Bella. What are you doing out here? Why?"

I hold up a finger, and I proceed to sit down in front of the (luckily) lit and warm fire.
"Bella, is that you? What are you doing here at this hour? Are you okay? Did something happen?" Mo's mom, Cornelia asks me with a worried frown on her face.

"Well," I sigh, "Geoffrey Landgraab is in my house, having dinner with Mom and Dad. Dad wanted me and Michael to leave, so Michael dropped me off here. He's gone to see his friends, so there's no point in ringing him. So, I walked up to the door, rang the doorbell and...here I am."
Cornelia frowns. "Oh, you poor thing! Let's get you cleaned up and warm. Go up, and take a shower. You'll catch a cold if you don't!"

I nod, even though I'm almost sure that I've caught a cold already. But Cornelia is being really nice, so I can't say no. And I can't deny a nice, warm shower either.
"Right then. Come on up with me, I'll show you how to work the shower. Mortimer, you stay down here, okay? No sneaking upstairs to catch a look at Bella naked." Cornelia smiles.

Mo gasps and blushes crimson. I laugh at the embarrassed look on his face. Cornelia gives me a little tug, and leads me up the stairs. My wet hair is dripping on the carpeted steps, leaving wet stains.
"It's okay," Cornelia smiles, "It'll wash out later."

***
"Thanks for lending me your clothes, Cornelia. Are you sure you don't mind?" I ask.
Cornelia shakes her head.
"No, I don't mind at all. But I do mind about what you're going to do. Are you going home, or are you staying here tonight?" I glance at Mo, raising my eyebrows in a silent question. He shrugs, then nods. "I'd like to stay here tonight " I reply, smiling at Cornelia, "Is that alright?" "It's fine. I'll ring Jocasta, let her know that you're okay. Until then, you and Mortimer can watch a movie. Then, it's off to bed, alright?"

Mortimer winces, embarrassed at being spoke to like a child. I don't mind, though. I like Cornelia being all motherly, especially since my mom hasn't been like that for a few months. In fact, my mom has been extremely distant for a while, not caring a lot about school, events, or our news. Even her garden has been neglected for some time.

Cornelia smiles at us, places a DVD in the DVD player, gets up and walks up the stairs to her bedroom. I imagine that she must be exhausted, especially after setting up the shower for me and making me some food. I do feel a twinge of guilt for making her do everything for me, but I push it aside as Mo starts up the movie.

"What movie is it?" I ask Mo curiously.
"Uhh..Planet of the PlantSims."
"Great! I love that one, my brother and I always used to watch it together."

Mo nods and smiles, then adapted a faraway look in his eyes that I know all too well. "Is there something wrong, Mo?" He glances at me and shakes his head. "No, no, of course not. Let's uh, let's watch the movie." I shrug.

Something was up with Mo, and I wasn't going to stop until I found out what.
Lab Assistant
#9 Old 27th Aug 2014 at 9:25 PM
it's so beautiful
TestingCheats On!
#10 Old 27th Aug 2014 at 11:22 PM
I really like where this is going!

Please check out mine? deessimlegacies.wordpress.com
Scholar
Original Poster
#11 Old 28th Aug 2014 at 8:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by deegardiner3
I really like where this is going!

Please check out mine? deessimlegacies.wordpress.com

I like it. I've never completed a legacy, so I hope you might!
Lab Assistant
#12 Old 28th Aug 2014 at 4:58 PM
I like it but visuals would make it that much better. I hope you won't add pictures to previous chapters later; that would be nice for new readers. But good job so far.
Scholar
Original Poster
#13 Old 28th Aug 2014 at 5:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovethMia
I like it but visuals would make it that much better. I hope you won't add pictures to previous chapters later; that would be nice for new readers. But good job so far.

Yep, I'm 100% going to add pictures soon, but I haven't got around to it. Hopefully some pictures today or tomorrow! Thanks for the tip!
Scholar
Original Poster
#14 Old 31st Aug 2014 at 5:49 PM
I'm sorry for not uploading or posting pictures! It'll be ready by this time next week, maybe even sooner!
Lab Assistant
#15 Old 1st Sep 2014 at 7:48 PM
Omg, Amazing!!!!!!!!!!
Test Subject
#16 Old 5th Sep 2014 at 3:51 PM
I really do like it!
Top Secret Researcher
#17 Old 8th Sep 2014 at 5:56 AM
Oh I do like it and want more! I had already reached the end and started reading comments before I realized that there were no pictures, so I guess that says something for your writing. Also the characters are familiar so the visuals are not hard to conjure up -- but past that, you're fleshing them out and humanizing them very nicely. I'm eager to see what's next.
Test Subject
#18 Old 10th Sep 2014 at 2:49 AM
I like it! Very suspenseful.
Lab Assistant
#19 Old 12th Sep 2014 at 10:17 PM
Looking forward to this lovely mystery you are building. Nice work.
Lab Assistant
#20 Old 13th Sep 2014 at 10:37 PM
Amazing! Can't wait to see the next Chapter!
Lab Assistant
#21 Old 14th Sep 2014 at 5:59 AM
Write more?? I been waiting for SOOOO long

Nobody might see what I see in you, but all I want you to know is your special, to special for words sometimes.
Scholar
Original Poster
#22 Old 14th Sep 2014 at 9:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by XoxBElieveXox
Write more?? I been waiting for SOOOO long

Actually, let me explain.
See, I'm doing the pictures now. I also have a crazy amount of homework, and not to sound whiny, but I don't have the time. But yes, I will be uploading a new chapter soon. Thanks for being patient!
Lab Assistant
#23 Old 16th Sep 2014 at 3:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IrishA03
Thanks for being patient!


Funny thing is, I am not patient this must be a rare time. I love to write, Cheers for such an awesome story -Pours some apple juice in cups- (Don't ask I'm just weird-

Nobody might see what I see in you, but all I want you to know is your special, to special for words sometimes.
Top Secret Researcher
#24 Old 20th Sep 2014 at 2:52 PM
i really like this story so far

are you going to do a third chapter?
Lab Assistant
#25 Old 20th Sep 2014 at 3:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by coolsim22
i really like this story so far

are you going to do a third chapter?


She will she is just is busy, Getting pictures and her real life outside of here

Nobody might see what I see in you, but all I want you to know is your special, to special for words sometimes.
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