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Mad Poster
Original Poster
#1 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 5:27 AM
Default Unusual Behaviors concerning those w\ mental and neurological issues
For as long as I can remember, my brain won't always settle for the night and it results in "nighttime nuttiness" where I am confined to my room and work on things like using Microsoft Office to make all kinds of documents, rearranging my books, DVDs, CDs, BDs games or rearranging furniture in the dead of night.

But only one behavior out of the many I mentioned, I have had this quirk since writing in spiral bound notebooks became common in school for me: I find myself writing large amounts of data in paper notebooks until exhausted. My parents affectionately call these "Data Dumps" as it is a great deal of info spilled out through the lead and paper it treads.

I don't know how or when it happens, I can only say this behavior is rare enough to be a surprise.

Do any of you have neurological\mental illness-related behavior and if so, is it as disruptive to yourself as it may be to others?

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
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#2 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 5:30 AM
Nope. Thought I had issues once. Psychologist said it was amazing I was still sane.

Not sure if that was a compliment.
Theorist
#3 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 5:58 AM
Extreme depressive moods on regular basis, making me physically and mentally very tired. Basically during these periods I hate everything about myself. Even worse, both questions of who hates me the most and who do I hate the most are answered by "me". If I'm lucky I'm "okay", better, if it already exists at all, is quite rare.

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23rd Sep 2015 at 6:23 AM
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Mad Poster
#4 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 6:58 AM
I think I'm a hoarder? Since my Mum died I don't want to get rid of clothes that don't fit anymore, socks with holes in, etc because "my Mum bought it for me". Also there's stuff that I just think I might need later, like recently I bought a few outfits for my friend's baby girl... but then I thought "aww they're so cute! I'll have to keep them for my baby and buy her something else"... for the record I'm not pregnant, or a mother, I'm not even planning children any time soon... but I have 2 newborn outfits in my wardrobe draw. It doesn't help that my friend linked me to a 'free samples' website... I'm now expecting 4 boxes of sanitary towels, pull-up pyjama pants (for my little sister whos potty training... who I won't see again until Christmas, when hopefully she should be completely out of nappies), Perfume samples and face cream in the post.

I also have crippling social anxiety. I only leave the house for one of two reasons: either 1. my boyfriend is with me (or I'm meeting up with my best friend), or 2. I have to go to uni. Even if I just need to quickly pick up something from the shop, he has to come otherwise I'm just in a paranoid ball of "What if I do something stupid?". I've always been like this to some extent, but back in 2012 for the most part I could go places on my own and stuff. When I moved in with my boyfriend though, it's become a little teeny-tiny bit extreme. It's frustrating too, because I don't go out to parties or clubs despite being in university, because I just can't talk to people anymore like I use to, even if my boyfriend comes he doesn't drink anyway so if we are invited out I'm usually sat near him talking quietly because I don't know other people - but I use to be the life of most parties in college. I'm one of those people in uni who will make small talk with anyone, and I always have someone to sit next to in classes but I never see those people outside of uni because I'm scared of going anywhere, so really I never make it past "classmate", and then those guys find new friends who they go out drinking with and then become best friends with them instead and then I'm a third wheel.

I also have an obsession with even numbers. I think it's because when I was a kid and I'd eat an uneven amount of food (e.g. carrot sticks) and my Mum wanted me to eat more, she would say "But all the (carrot sticks) are having a party in your belly, and one of them doesn't have a friend to go with!", so then I'd eat one more (making it even). I have to kiss my boyfriend twice, if he accidentally nudges me - I feel unbalanced unless he does it again on the other side. My favourite number is 8, though I like 4 too. The only even number I don't like is 6, but I like 3. I usually do things in sets of 4 or 8 though. For example signing birthday cards with 2 sets of 4 x's, or taking either 4 normal size sips or 8 small sips from a drink. In fact I think I have OCD. I've never had any of these weird habits checked out. Also I'm a creature of habit. Every morning for the past 3 years, I've picked my Cabbage Patch Kid off the shelf, and put it on my bed during the day. No reason behind this. I just did it one day... and then the other... and then it became something I had to do every day. Same with the leather bracelet I wear around my right wrist at all times apart from when showering or sleeping (which really gets in the way when it comes to cosplaying, and made playing sports at school hard because I was always told to take it off). I've worn the leather bracelet on my wrist since Year 8 (2007/8?), and even though on warm days it leaves black marks and the metal on it has started to rust I can't stop myself.


Also I do "data dumps" of writing, especially when I can't sleep like tonight (it's currently just short of 6am), and I suffer from sleep paralysis sometimes - dunno if that counts as anything.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Mad Poster
#5 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 8:12 AM Last edited by HarVee : 23rd Sep 2015 at 11:07 AM.
While I would love to share, I'm not sure if I should even mention the behaviors I exhibit due to my 'illnesses' as most of them aren't exactly quirky in a positive manner.

Although to be fair if one really wanted to know they could just read my posts as no doubt I'm sure they've been exposed between the lines.

My Soundcloud, where I upload some things I make.
Forum Resident
#6 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 10:13 AM
I mentioned having an aversion to paying attention, unless it's related to something I'm really interested in. That's still not a guarantee. I also tend to go on about one topic until I annoy the conversation.

Avatar model: Shi Gaik Lan / Atroxia "Jade Orchid" Lion (Source: Dynasty Warriors 8 Empires).
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Mad Poster
#7 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 10:38 AM Last edited by simmer22 : 23rd Sep 2015 at 11:15 AM.
So... where do I start?

I had OCD tendencies well up into my 20s, and still have some, though I've become more aware and try to avoid doing it. I'd count every step, walk strange routes through the house, wash my hands so much they turned very dry, eat weird things (might have been pica from lack of vitamins - paper and uncooked spaghetti or pasta were favorites), and a lot of other things. I also collected strange things, like nice-looking candy paper, and 'anything that might come in handy'. I still do, but not as much as I used to. I often struggle with throwing away things (not obvious trash, but clothes with small holes can be fixed, and clothes with nice patterns even if it's too small, and other things most people wouldn't bother keeping), but I'm getting better at that. I have a slight aversion to the number 7, and certain words. Not as bad as it used to be, though. I also struggled to write or say 'death' or words related to it, until well up in my 20s. I still find it uncomfortable, but I've had a lot of exercise in it lately. I also have a slight aversion to touching door handles with my hands, particularly outer doors, toilet doors, and the outside of car doors.

One thing I still struggle a lot with, is procastinating. I'll avoid doing things I don't really want to do almost up until the last moment. Anything from phone calls to school assignments. I also struggle with finishing up stuff. When I've finally started something, I'll keep on working on it (sometimes on-and-off) until I either don't have more time, or until I can't find anything more to do with it. My brain is an expert at coming up with excuses for not doing things, so it's not always easy to stop myself (I have a month, I can do anything I want! (does anything but assignment for 3 weeks). I still have a week, I can watch a youtube video now. (waches youtube videos all day). I still have 3 days left, I can make some meshes (makes meshes all day). WAAAAAH! One day left! (hurries to finish project, done at last minute). *phew*). I usually get things done in time - or eventually, if there isn't a time limit, but my stress level is often high at the end of it. I think it's some form of performance anxiety, maybe mixed with a bit of social anxiety.

I was also terrified of dogs, and I've slammed many a door in a dog's face to get away. I've had to deal a bit with that anxiety lately, since my brother's family got a dog, and a few of my friends had dogs that didn't jump at you for just being in the room. I can be in the same room as certain dogs now, which is a step forward from how it used to be when I was younger. I still feel the urge to change my clothes and wash my hands thoroughly after visiting, though (aversion to pet fur - the fur issue is actually worse. I can pet cats and horses and rabbits and such, and I'm not afraid of those, but still feeling I have to change clothes and all that when I get home).

Becoming aware of the fact that I do these things has helped me in getting some of it under control, so that I at least think it through what I'm doing before I do or don't do the weirder things. Exposure therapy is actually quite useful. I've self-treated myself out of most of my stranger habits by exposing myself to uncomfortable situations, or by doing the opposite of what I felt I had to do, and I've had a bit of professional help with a few other things. Some of the issues aren't bothering me that much, or don't hinder me much in daily life, so I don't feel they need to be treated.

It's a lot worse when the issues start taking over your life. I've heard of people who needed 3 hours in the morning for all their strange rituals, and if you barely even manage to get out of the house, or your house looks like a city dump, you do have a serious issue that needs something done.
Scholar
#8 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 4:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOriginalFive
I mentioned having an aversion to paying attention, unless it's related to something I'm really interested in. That's still not a guarantee. I also tend to go on about one topic until I annoy the conversation.


Exactly! That's why school is so hard! Most things do not interest me enough, so I don't pay enough attention/ its hard to (even if the topic is very important). Everyone tells me I just lack the will power to learn. No, I want to learn, just not that
I get frustrated sometimes because there are so many things that I have to do (that I have no interest in) before I can do what I want with my life. So it sort of feels like I'm wasting my time. Though I'm not because I'm still learning useful stuff, just now what I want to learn. Like with my uni course, I have no interest in any of the 1st year modules, but the 2nd and 3rd year modules appeal to me so much, that I've already looked into some of them already! Uuug so many regrets already

Also procrastination is a thing. Like if I need to name a talent of mine, it'd totally be procrastination. How much I procrastinate also depends on what it is that I'm trying to avoid. So I end up doing most things last minute anyway, so stress, panic and chaos happen. Basically the less interest or the less I like something, the longer I'll try to avoid it. Which is bad when you have group projects, deadlines, and exams. I do try though. But like I said, I'm just told that I lack the will power and that I'm lazy. Its probably true, I could just be a brat, but it could have something to do with not being sure of what I want to be. I have many interests, but I'm either not good enough at them to be able to succeed, or I'd just never have money if I took that path! Aarg- its like an existancial crisis!

Oops, I may have went on a rant instead
Theorist
#9 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 7:09 PM
I used to spit on walls to deal with intrusive thoughts, but have gotten over it with medication and becoming better at understanding that my brain comes up with mental busywork. Now, I'm not as social as before because I don't really like people anymore. No more agape. They're just strangers who I don't need an emotional connection with and they're in the way. A supermarket trip means I go in and out the door in less than eight minutes with all the groceries I want. To me it's amazing that people mill around and gawk at things like the store's a goddamn art museum. Recently went to Target grabbed a phone and got in the express line. The cashier was taking a hundred and eight years and people got in line behind me, so I was trapped front and back and I started sweating like a guilty criminal, and I wanted to pull that cashier's bottom lip like a cartoon... but later I had to admit to myself that it's not her fault for my bs mental acrobatics. But Target and all stores, in fact EVERY place would be much more pleasant for me if lines had employees with a megaphones and whips to keep them moving.
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#10 Old 23rd Sep 2015 at 10:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoosh Malooka
I used to spit on walls to deal with intrusive thoughts, but have gotten over it with medication and becoming better at understanding that my brain comes up with mental busywork. Now, I'm not as social as before because I don't really like people anymore. No more agape. They're just strangers who I don't need an emotional connection with and they're in the way. A supermarket trip means I go in and out the door in less than eight minutes with all the groceries I want. To me it's amazing that people mill around and gawk at things like the store's a goddamn art museum. Recently went to Target grabbed a phone and got in the express line. The cashier was taking a hundred and eight years and people got in line behind me, so I was trapped front and back and I started sweating like a guilty criminal, and I wanted to pull that cashier's bottom lip like a cartoon... but later I had to admit to myself that it's not her fault for my bs mental acrobatics. But Target and all stores, in fact EVERY place would be much more pleasant for me if lines had employees with a megaphones and whips to keep them moving.


You may want to rethink that last part. I prefer whips in masochistic courtship and I struggle to move for the next person as I try to fit my money, receipts and cards into my hanging wallet.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Inventor
#11 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 11:07 AM
I don't know if it's a really a behaviour - more like a symptom, but I've developed terrible word recall.

For example, I'll be talking and I'll get to a word, and I know what I want to say, I can picture it, but I just cannot think of or say the word.
I end up "umm"ing and "oh"ing for what can be about 10 seconds, to a full minuet if the person I'm talking to can't guess what I mean from the charades I inevitably start playing, pointing at the object if it's in the room, or making shapes with my hands, or describing the function of the object. It sounds funny but it's actually really frustrating and is kind of upsetting. It's not so bad when it's around people I know, but when it happens in front of strangers I feel so embarrassed. It happens very regularly, at least a handful of times a week.

My boyfriend, who is usually so great, does this thing that really upsets me, where when it happens, and he knows I can't help it, he'll pretend to be getting impatient, or yawn, or pretend to sleep because I'm taking to long, and he doesn't help me when I try to describe it, and he moves his hand in a "hurry up" way. If I'm in a good mood I'll just tell him to piss off, but some days I get so upset that I just don't bother trying, and stop what I was saying and go lay in bed for a bit. He knows it upsets me but he thinks he's being funny, because I laugh when I'm in a good mood.
Mad Poster
#12 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 1:42 PM
I know what you mean, SuperSimoholic. I've had that the past few years, particularly in 'down' periods. Can be very frustrating, especially in conversations. Not just difficult words, but sometimes even everyday words. It's pretty much the 'having something at the tip of your tongue' feeling, except it often takes longer to recall the word, and it happens a whole lot more than for other people. It's not just the long, complicated words I almost never use, but also happens with perfectly ordinary everyday words. I prefer if people come with suggestions, because not remembering the word is very distracting for the rest of the conversation. I also get it when writing, but then I've usually got internet and a dictionary, and manage to figure it out. It's a nightmare on exams...

I also tend to lose track in the middle of a sentence, and just stop talking. It's like I'm heading in the right direction, but a wall just pop out of nowhere and I hit it head-on. That's even more frustrating than the word thing.
Inventor
#13 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 2:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by simmer22
I know what you mean, SuperSimoholic. I've had that the past few years, particularly in 'down' periods. Can be very frustrating, especially in conversations. Not just difficult words, but sometimes even everyday words. It's pretty much the 'having something at the tip of your tongue' feeling, except it often takes longer to recall the word, and it happens a whole lot more than for other people. It's not just the long, complicated words I almost never use, but also happens with perfectly ordinary everyday words. I prefer if people come with suggestions, because not remembering the word is very distracting for the rest of the conversation. I also get it when writing, but then I've usually got internet and a dictionary, and manage to figure it out. It's a nightmare on exams...

I also tend to lose track in the middle of a sentence, and just stop talking. It's like I'm heading in the right direction, but a wall just pop out of nowhere and I hit it head-on. That's even more frustrating than the word thing.


Oh my god thank you. I also get the mid sentence break too, not as often as the word problem though.
I don't know anyone else with this problem (except my nan, but she's almost 70, and it's usually peoples names, which is pretty normal, and it doesn't happen often)
It's kind of a relief to know that other people my age know what I'm talking about, and what it feels like, although I hate to hear you have to suffer the same issues.
Mad Poster
#14 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 3:14 PM
Names! I'm happy if I remember my own name, and don't (too often) forget names of people I know very well. I even managed to forget the name of my (ex)boyfriend on several occasions, even once when he stood next to me. I often switch around names (particularly the names of my nephews and my cousins' kids, for some reason - might be a generational thing). Surnames are even worse to remember. I'm better with faces, thankfully. I've always been like this, but it did get worse when I got sick a few years back, particularly the switching around of names. In stressed situations I might as well rip up a name book, put the pieces in a hat, and pick out a random name. It does get easier if I have to use the names a lot, and eventually they do stick to my memory, but more in the sense of post-it notes than super-glue...

I also sometimes struggle when saying things out loud. I stumble over words and sentences all the time, and sometimes 'stutter' over words or sentences. The idea of what I'm going to say goes by too quckly for my mouth to follow, so talking is like saying a bunch of 'tongue-twisters' in a row. My brain half knows what it's supposed to say, but the signals get jumbled around somewhere on the road to my mouth, and what comes out isn't always what I intended to say, or in the correct order.
Forum Resident
#15 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 3:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noa1500
... Though I'm not because I'm still learning useful stuff, just now what I want to learn. Like with my uni course, I have no interest in any of the 1st year modules, but the 2nd and 3rd year modules appeal to me so much, that I've already looked into some of them already! Uuug so many regrets already ...


I try to encourage myself that once I get past the boring hurdles, I can get right into the middle of the good stuff. Helps with my impatience, but tires me out if I try to power through too many boring/unpleasant things at once.

Avatar model: Shi Gaik Lan / Atroxia "Jade Orchid" Lion (Source: Dynasty Warriors 8 Empires).
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Inventor
#16 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 4:06 PM Last edited by SuperSimoholic : 24th Sep 2015 at 8:44 PM.
Omg. We sound so alike it's scary.

I get tongue-tied easily, I usually have to cut my sentences up into small chunks to get everything out. It doesn't help that I naturally speak very fast when I'm nervous, like talking to strangers. Or when I'm excited, talking about something I enjoy, I talk like a bullet.

Another thing I get is when I talk, I might say two words but I switch the first letters around. Like, "We need more clean towels" becomes "We need more teen cowels" or "PlayStation" becomes "Slay-Payshun". When I was a kid and I saw people doing that on TV, usually when drunk or after hitting their head I always thought "that's so stupid, no one would ever do that" and then it happened to me.

I used to be ok memory wise and stuff, but the last 5 years or so is where I've developed all this forgetfulness and word problems, and I'm the same as you with names too, I have to speak to someone or say their name at least a handful of times before I'll remember it. It makes me feel bad, like they'll think I'm rude, or think I'm too good to remember peoples names.
Theorist
#17 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 5:47 PM
I have lots of issues, nothing diagnosed. In no certain order:
1. Social anxiety, really bad. I have trouble talking to anyone, and when I do, I tend to ramble. I have trouble in meetings or when stressed, I'll trip over my own tongue and mispronounce words or just go totally blank and embarrass myself. It causes me to avoid going through drive-thrus, sit-down restaurants, or doing pretty much anything that requires talking to strangers. If I have to meet or talk to a stranger, my fingers will be icy cold and my heart racing the entire time leading up to it whether it is hours, days, or even weeks ahead. This includes if I just have to call someplace, like to get a rebate sorted out or get an insurance quote, anything, which leads to my 2nd point.
2. Phone phobia. I really, really hate talking on the phone. Maybe it's because I can't see the other person's face, I don't know what it is, but talking on the phone is so much worse for me than even a face-to-face conversation. I don't even know why I bother trying to sell stuff on Craigslist sometimes because I recoil in terror every time my phone rings.
3. I obsess and worry, about everything. Even small stuff. Wife keeps telling me, "don't sweat the small stuff", but I can't help it.
4. I'm a pessimist. I never think anything good will happen, I always think bad things will happen. I feel like I never have anything to look forward to. I worry about the future constantly.
5. I may suffer depression, because I feel dark and gloomy pretty much all the time. I like to joke around and fake it pretty good, but inside I pretty much feel despair all the time.
6. I'm OCD, I think. I always must have my primary monitor exactly parallel to the edge of the desk. Same with the keyboard. Keyboard must be centered in front of primary monitor. I WILL pull out a tape measure to verify accuracy of parallelness because it will drive me nuts if it looks even a little off. My monitor can rotate, which is actually another trigger for my OCD because I must have it completely level and every so often, I must pull out a bubble-level to verify it is exactly horizontally level. Some people can have items on their desk so haphazardly placed, I don't know how they can stand it! I also see people move the rearview mirror, seats, and steering wheel in the car around all the time, that drives me nuts too. I spend an inordinately long amount of time adjusting them to exact perfection and then after that, they MUST NOT BE MOVED, not even a millimeter!
7. Probably related to my previous point, I CAN'T STAND SCRATCHES. Or scuffs. Or cosmetic blemishes of any kind, on anything really. It drives me nuts. I keep my cell phone in its own pocket, because I cannot stand to have any cosmetic blemish on it. If I were to drop my phone and scratch, scuff, or put any kind of dent or rough edge on it, I would feel compelled to sell it and replace it with a new one. All possessions I purchase new stay in mint condition as long as I own them, because it drives me nuts to have anything even the least bit beat up looking.
8. Trichotillomania (hair pulling). I have an insatiable urge to pluck gray hairs. Also if I have any acne on my scalp, I can't help but pluck the hair out of it.
9. I procrastinate as well, really badly. I will procrastinate so long on stuff that it's no longer relevant to do it, which is probably related to my next point below.
10. I start lots of projects, but never finish them (personal projects, not work projects, I always finish work projects because I have to). For me, a project only goes into completed state when I decide it's no longer relevant so I abandon it.
11. I have an "order of operations" problem, where I don't get much done because I've worked out what I feel is a logical order to get things done, but something always gets hung up so I don't proceed with my "todo" list because I feel like I haven't satisfied an item's prerequisites first.
12. I'm super cheap. My sister tried to talk me into seeing a psychiatrist or therapist once. "Oh HELL no, I told her, because [see point #1], social anxiety, I'm not going to talk to a stranger if I don't HAVE to!" Then she threatened to make the appointment for me and make me go, but I said even if it could help me, I'm not even willing to pay for it!
13. I do "data dumps" too, in forum posts. I really intended this post to just be one or two sentences long and not the novel it turned out to be. Geez.

Resident wet blanket.
Mad Poster
#18 Old 24th Sep 2015 at 7:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GnatGoSplat
Phone phobia. I really, really hate talking on the phone. Maybe it's because I can't see the other person's face, I don't know what it is, but talking on the phone is so much worse for me than even a face-to-face conversation. I don't even know why I bother trying to sell stuff on Craigslist sometimes because I recoil in terror every time my phone rings.

Both me and my older sister have total phone phobia, she's diagnosed with aspergers and it makes me think I've probably got it too because we both have a lot of similar anxieties. I live really far away from family, and I think it annoys them that I don't call them - but I make sure to send a letter to my Nanna every once in a while and I visit my siblings and Dad often enough. I hate when I have to do something on the phone, I once had a job interview over the phone and being that me and my friend have the same accent, I was like this close (*puts fingers close together*) to offering her money to do my interview for me.

~Your friendly neighborhood ginge
Theorist
#19 Old 29th Sep 2015 at 6:12 AM
I mostly keep feeling stupid about mistakes I made, making me extremely sad and depressed. Even when other people have probably already forgotten about these mistakes. Even the smallest ones keep coming back in the memory system of my mind, making me feel very sick.
#20 Old 29th Sep 2015 at 7:38 AM Last edited by Thranduil Oropherion : 29th Sep 2015 at 8:31 AM. Reason: I had more to say.
I thought I'd add to this thread.

Before the business with that stalker - I could and would happily share information about myself online; chat away on Skype, use a webcam .. since then and the PTSD I was diagnosed with because of what happened during that period and my suicide attempt, I can get really quite stressed out and 'unhappy' (yes lets call it 'unhappy') about sharing much about myself online at all. This can lead to problems which ends up making the 'stress' worse and I can end up back sliding to an uncomfortable and painful place that I find difficult to express or talk about. In every other avenue of life I am still my old self and if you met me irl you wouldn't have a clue about my 'issues'.

It takes all of my courage to share anything much at all. I would rather meet you face to face in the street than send you a photograph .. I have shared photographs but it takes more courage than I can possibly describe to do it - Some days I can share a photograph with nothing more than shaking and panic as the side effect of pushing 'send' I certainly wish I didn't feel like this, but it's beyond my control. I don't do 'Facebook' as an individual, but wish I could. My email address is guarded like a state secret .. Only someone I trust will get it.Some days I am braver than others but I can no longer do the things I used to online, and I feel so resentful and restricted that I am controlled by the aftermath of a nightmare I can't seem to wake up from.

The worst of it all is that my 'issues' make it seem like I don't trust people - that's the hardest part. But how can I explain that it's not my lack of trust in them that ignites the 'issues', it's flashbacks to the past that does the damage? That's the hardest part to bear. It's not their fault that I'm fucked up.

Anyway, I'm not whining or bitching - I thought maybe if someone else was in a similar position they might not feel so alone.
Scholar
#21 Old 3rd Oct 2015 at 7:30 PM
Like GnatGoSplat, I have quite a list.
1. OCD - this manifested when I was 7 or 8 and continued until I was about 16, when I was on enough antidepressants to get rid of it for the most part. But I would touch things a certain number of times so nothing bad would happen and I had routines and rituals and had to pick out the "right" socks or pants so nothing bad would happen.
2. Anxiety - started around the same time. I'm always afraid of my family dying especially but also I'm overly worried about the future and I'm often afraid of dying in car wrecks.
3. Major depression - started when I was 14 and it was very intense very quickly. Depressive episodes used to last for 2 to 4 weeks but this last one has been going on 13 months.
4. Self-injury - started with the depression when I believed I deserved to suffer so I enacted every possible method I could think of to make that happen, so I would suffer painfully until I slowly died. It's continued with cutting and suicide attempts/gestures.
5. Delusions - I thought I was infested with parasites when I was 10 and later thought I was the worst being that ever lived (like, worse than Hitler), and sometimes I think that I am possessed by demons.
6. Manic aspects - sometimes I get really REALLY happy and everything seems 100% perfect and I have a huge amount of energy and can hardly sit still or stop talking. This usually lasts for 4 to 5 days.
7. Codependency - I struggle with depending on everyone around me for all my emotional validation. I don't make a big deal out of it or guilt trip people, I just internalize everything.
8. Intrusive thoughts - I have intrusive thoughts, like the word "death" flashing across my mind, or the impulse to choke myself or put my car in park while going 80 mph on the interstate. Also related to trypophobia, I have images of that in my head all the time. I also have intrusive thoughts that are prejudiced against people or groups of people that disturb me a lot sometimes.
9. Insomnia - this has been happening since I was 5 or 6. It's always been hard for me to get a good night's sleep, but with the medicine I'm on it makes it easier.
10. Panic attacks - I've had a couple. I also panic intensely at interviews so I needed to get on anti anxiety medication before I could land a job.
11. Possible ptsd - the psychiatrist at the last hospital I was at mentioned it, but didn't say definitively whether I had it or not. I have some of the symptoms but no flashbacks and I don't feel on edge a whole lot of the time, though I do avoid a lot of things that have to do with what happened, to the point where at this point in my life I'd rather date girls entirely.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
bleed-in-ink.tumblr.com
Field Researcher
#22 Old 3rd Oct 2015 at 7:55 PM
My list of issues by severity:
1.PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)- Just diagnosed last year, this has to do with being molested/raped when I was 6 until I was 9. It increased from being in a very physically abusive relationship when I was 16. This also triggers seizures from stress.
2.D.I.D (Dissociative Identity Disorder)- this also manifested from the abuse.
3.O.S.F.E.D (Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder)- I have no idea where this started but possibly being starved by my sister and her fiancé.
4. Mild agoraphobia
5. Anxiety/panic attacks
6. Insomnia/night terrors
7. Clinical Depression with/ seasonal affective disorder
8. ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
9. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
10. PMDD (Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder )
Mad Poster
Original Poster
#23 Old 17th Oct 2015 at 1:28 AM
My perception for the longest time was for PTSD that it was more prevalent among military personnel.

In the past year or so...it changed to include domestic traumas like violence at home, constant abuse from family, attempts on my life whether I initiated or someone else did, harassment from people in authority positions...and all this was done by my older half-sister.

I should be the only one to shine,
I am the Golden Queen of Shadow Galactica
(Translation of a line from image song Golden Queen Galaxia)
Scholar
#24 Old 17th Oct 2015 at 1:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PANDAQUEEN
My perception for the longest time was for PTSD that it was more prevalent among military personnel.

In the past year or so...it changed to include domestic traumas like violence at home, constant abuse from family, attempts on my life whether I initiated or someone else did, harassment from people in authority positions...and all this was done by my older half-sister.


Actually, if I remember correctly, there is a higher number of civilians who suffer PTSD than service members, at least in the US. The general belief is that PTSD is only triggered by going into battle. The truth is, PTSD can be triggered by abuse of all kinds (mental, physical, sexual,) along with things like car crashes, house fires, surviving things like large scale natural disasters or terror attacks, etc.

But please, don't tell that to the American general public. We're conditioned to believe that the military is a group of gods who must be worshiped and lowly civilians like the rest of us don't have the "right" to suffer like they do because we didn't go into battle. Nothing against the military. Both my grandfathers served in WWII (hell, one almost died when a kamikaze hit the battleship he served on) and one in Korea, my stepdad was in Vietnam and my family has a long history in the military far beyond that. I'm just sick of people who deserve treatment for something like PTSD being told they need to just "get over it" because they didn't do anything significant like bomb a city or storm a beach.

The secret ingredient is phone.
Growing up means watching my heroes turn human in front of me.
Thank you, O Mighty Doom Deity! - BL00DIEHELL
#25 Old 17th Oct 2015 at 2:38 AM
I agree with much of what you say, Deathy .. I don't even mention my PTSD to most people because for the most part they won't get it and secondly for PTSD talking about what caused it makes things worse. I have to say that I believe I am fortunate insomuch as it doesn't impact on all of my life; just a certain area that I outlined in my post on this thread. When I have mentioned it, with the exception of one or two very special people, they don't get it either. That's fine, I don't expect people to get it or to realise that certain behaviors could actually send me right back 'there' to where I entertain thoughts of dancing on death's doorstep again. I don't expect understanding, but am I glad and feel blessed when I get it.
 
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